You’re likely reading this because you cheated on your boyfriend or husband and now you feel overwhelmed with guilt and want to tell him.
You want to tell him the truth, but you are scared shitless to lose him over it and have no idea what to do.
If you’re like many of the women I have coached, your relationship is in not good right now, and you don’t know how to find a way out of this mess. Well, today, I’m going to show you how to get out of it.
When you go to your boyfriend to tell him you have cheated on him, you have to do so very, very carefully!
The good news is, if you go about things in the right way, many men will be receptive to the truth (within reason), and will not leave you over it.
In fact, if you handle telling him the truth about cheating on him the right way, it can ultimately cause you two to become closer than ever before.
But let’s not be “fairytale” about it. Feelings will get hurt. Ego will get hurt.
But there is much you can do to mitigate the damage to your relationship with your boyfriend or husband and ensure a better outcome to the story, which I will be sharing with you in this article.
What are my qualifications?
Well, my name is Brandon Martin and I’ve been coaching women on the topics of men, dating and relationships for more than ten years at the time of this writing.
Aside from coaching women, I have been in two separate long-term relationships with women who ended up cheating… both I caught redhanded.
I’m not here to judge you about what you did. Just by you being here and reading, I respect that you are trying to fix the situation.
My disclaimer: this article is not to be take as “professional advice”. Think of this as for entertainment purposes only.
With that said, I know what works and what doesn’t with men if your goal is to KEEP your man after he finds out you cheated on him.
There are many mistakes that women make when they tell their boyfriend or husband the truth about their “extracurricular activities” and want to keep him.
In this article, I’m going to show you exactly how to tell your boyfriend or husband that you cheated to ensure the best outcome.
I’ve discovered that when women either tell that they have cheated or get “found out”, strangely many women rationalize WHY they cheated and either subtly or very overtly blame the guy for doing it.
I shouldn’t have to say this, but I will be clear.
Do not in any way blame him for cheating or rationalize why you did it (if your goal is to keep him in your life), no matter what he may have done to push you to cheat.
At the moment you confess, he may be overwhelmed with denial, upset feelings, anger and pain. The last thing you want to do is intensify these feelings and throw gasoline on the fire by rationalizing why he did or blaming him.
As a side note, it’s extremely important that you keep your cool and don’t take anything negative he says personally.
The bottom line is, when you tell him, you need to show remorse. One thing that I’ll never forget when I found out one of my girlfriends cheated on me is she said with tears in her eyes “I will spend the rest of my life making this up to you”.
This one line stuck with me and I recommend saying something along similar line when you make your confession.
As I have already mentioned, blaming him for cheating or rationalizing why you cheated is a big no no.
At a later date, it may be possible to talk about the reasons behind why you cheated, but at the initial confession, there will be too many emotions.
Even if he asks you why, your answers should be along the lines of “there is no excuse for what I did”.
Many women, not being able to cope with what they have done and the guilt of hurting someone they love, they uncontrollably start deflecting and blaming to make themselves feel better.
If you show too much remorse and you’re sobbing and crying and there’s snotting flying out of your nose, this is going take away from your attractiveness.
Before you tell your man you cheated, you absolutely must forgive yourself for doing it.
You must take time meditating on this until you can truly release at least most of the guilt you feel.
You must tell your man with calmness, strength, submission and a desire to do the right things.
You will sub-communicate all of these things when you have forgiven yourself and yet want to do the right thing and tell him the truth.
You’ll also have to do things like remind him that doing the right thing and telling the truth should be rewarded and not to punish you for coming forward.
You can only say such things if you have forgiven yourself to so extent.
At the moment you tell him, he will have many question.
A part of him will want to know details that will hurt him a lot.
It’s as if he wants to hurt more by knowing too much.
You can answer his questions, but I recommend that any “Is he bigger than me?” or “Was he better than me?” type questions be answered with a firm “No”.
Remember, his ego will be shattered. This is just the reality that you must accept. So you need to take every measure to salvage his ego as best as possible without adding fuel to the fire.
All your answers should help tame the fire that is going to be unleashed.
This is the part that a lot of women hate hearing, but the sooner you tell him the better.
Even if you know that you got away with cheating and there is no way he will ever find out, there are important reasons why waiting is a bad idea if you want a happy ending… and you want this situation to actually be an event that helps you to grow closer together.
The reason why waiting too long is a bad idea is simply because the guilt of cheating eats most women alive.
This guilt causes women to lash out and become “emotional” and unpredictable in the relationship which leads to fights, bickering, finger pointing, paranoia that he’s cheating too etc. etc. the decline of the relationship.
I have seen this many, many times both in women’s relationships who I coach and in my own personal relationships with women.
If I’m a betting man, I think you already are seeing this happen in your relationship.
This has been a brief overview of how to tell your man that you cheated.
But the truth is there is MUCH MORE you must understand about men and relationships to both tell him the truth in this situation AND ensure that your relationship is a process of growth from here on in.
That is why you need to sign up for my free eLetter down below where I will send you emails every few days with the best relationship and men advice you can find.
I wish you luck in your situation and I will see you in the eLetter.