If you read my Relationship Advice Articles, you know that I tend not to go down the direction of games, ploys, manipulation or “tricks”.
The truth is I like to make things really difficult for you…
But seriously there’s a very deliberate reason why I do this.
To heal your love life and relationship, you must first heal YOU.
To make a man attracted to you, you must first become attractive.
Let me explain.
What makes men feel a woman is psychologically and emotionally irresistible?
Why do many women today experience men suddenly becoming disinterested, pulling away or shutting down… and what can you do about it?
And years researching relationship dynamics, I’ve discovered “secrets” about what makes a woman desirable and what men find irresistible, which most experts aren’t talking about.
Secrets that cause a psychic-spiritual “spark” that make men feel irresistibly attracted to a woman.
Thing is, being irresistible is not what most women think it is: youth, beauty, success or being an independent woman.
What men find irresistible is the ongoing emotional & psychic-spiritual experience a man has with you.
If you’ve had trouble keeping a guy interested, you’re likely either making one or more common mistakes that take from his emotional experience, or you’re not doing enough of the right things to create it.
It’s important that you learn how to be irresistible to men in today’s competitive dating world.
Being in the top 5% of women will change your love life and make men effortless to deal with.
Unless you understand how to be irresistible to men, you’ll likely deal with men losing interest, falling out of love or avoiding commitment. Learn about how to be irresistible to men by reading on!
Being irresistible to men has to do with the ongoing emotional & psychic-spiritual experience a man has with you.
If you’ve had trouble keeping a guy interested, you’re likely either making one or more common mistakes take from his emotional experience, or you’re not doing enough of the right things to create it.
It’s important that you learn how to be irresistible to men in today’s competitive dating world.
Being in the top 5% of women will change your love life and make men effortless to deal with.
Unless you understand how to be irresistible to men, you’ll likely deal with men losing interest, falling out of love or avoiding commitment.
Many women already believe they know what men find irresistible and what makes a woman desirable.
For example, most women believe men want a young, beautiful girlfriend.
But if this is true, why do we find so many decent guys end up with “average” looking women? Why do men find these women irresistible and not others?
I’ve discovered that most women don’t truly understand male psychology or emotions and what men find irresistible… even when they think they do.
This can lead to frustration and not getting love or interest from men because a woman is attached to an idea of what you think he wants.
Who could blame women? Men aren’t exactly “open books” about their inner world.
After years talking to guys about women, love and what men find irresistible, I discovered an odd quality that most men instantly respond to…
Men universally find child-like energy irresistibly attractive.
Most women get “burnt out” from their bad past experiences with men.
It’s tough for women in today’s dating climate, and this can cause stress, heartbreak and fear towards men.
Problem is, no matter how much you and I know this, men tend to lack feelings of interest for a woman who is afraid, stressed, or cynical.
What makes a woman attractive is childlike, playful, innocent energy. This is of the reasons why men will choose one woman over another.
A girl playing on the playground hasn’t been used, betrayed or burdened by stress yet.
She simply plays in the sand, swings on the swings and counts the grains of sand she can hold in her hand. She is alive and living in the now. That’s what men find to be irresistible in women.
I’m always amazed when I see 18-year-old girls who seem like they’re 48, and then when I see 48-year-old women who feel 18.
It’s a matter of learning what “energy” men respond to in a woman and how to make a man feel emotional attraction.
What I’ve found after observing thousands of women interact with men is that when men do stupid things like not call/text back or not give attention, many women react emotionally.
Men often do hurtful and brainless things.
Reprimanding them out of spite and hurt can cause men to pull away suddenly, act distant and cold.
Then many women find themselves in frustrating situations where they are:
Most men are dense don’t realize when they have hurt you, so these things often cause men to feel like they can’t make that woman happy.
But most men will simply see an emotional woman who they don’t know how to handle, and that scares them.
Men universally crave light-heartedness, humor and relaxation in women … ESPECIALLY when things get rough.
That’s what makes a woman desirable. Unfortunately, this is rare for men to find. Unfortunately, this is rare for men to find.
The combination of humor and light-heartedness is like a billboard mounted to a woman’s forehead that says, “I’m the one”. The combination is what makes a woman desirable to men. If you lead with a sense of humor when things don’t go well, it can instantly turn a situation around and spark emotional, irresistible attraction in men.
If you’re in a situation with a man like this, you need to learn how to reverse this and become irresistible to him before things get worse.
If you’re in a situation with a man like this, you need to learn how to reverse this and become irresistible to him before things gets worse.
When men do stupid things like getting distant, not call/text back or other hurtful things, most women let their emotions build up and lash out.
You and I know many women don’t mean to do this. But something as simple as this makes men start to lose trust, respect and attraction and distance themselves emotionally.
It took me a long time to understand that that emotions scare men and cause them to close up out of fear.
Expressing positive emotions in the right way has the power to get a man literally addicted to you.
has the power to get a man literally addicted to you. Emotional strength and independence are what men find irresistible.
Ultimately, what makes a woman desirable is emotional independence. All men secretly hope to meet a woman who adds emotional value to his life.
It just takes a meaningful readjustment of the way you approach men and relationships to be irresistible to men.
Let’s face it, many of today’s women have an A.D.D. situation going on…
But seriously, that can be cute to some guys at first. I find it hilarious and love to make light-hearted fun of women like this. But impatience can turn into unnecessary frustration and emotional aggression when things don’t happen fast enough.
What I’m talking about is relaxing more and being more open to going with the flow with him. This is the same attitude that rockstars have, and rockstars male or female are some of the most irresistible people on the planet.
What makes patience an important quality for a woman to be desirable? Because it’s RARE and sub-communicates confidence and desirability.
Here’s a clue to being irresistible to men that most women will never know.
Men are purpose and goal-oriented. Men value the vision they want to create in life above all else. It could be that he wants to start a family, travel the world, build a business… it could be anything.
The point is when a man meets a woman, he secretly hopes that she will relax with his path. If she does he will literally feel that she completes him.
Body language accounts for 55% of all communication between people, while vocal tonality accounts for 38%.
If this is true, it means… words are only 7% of all communication.
It’s possible that 93% of the signals we give socially are based on body language and vocal tonality alone.
Many women ask me “what do I say to him to make him want me?”
Instead of focusing on just 7% of communication, I’d like to suggest that you can get more leverage with men by focusing on the other 93%.
Body language is a fascinating subject to me, and I’d like to give you what I consider to be a “magic formula” for body language that subconsciously tells men you’re irresistible and you know it. Learn about body language and how to be irresistible to men:
a. The first part of the puzzle is to lead your body with your hips.
You may have mixed feelings about her (I’m not her biggest fan), but Paris Hilton is a master of this and has irresistible body language.
Walking this way conveys sexuality, confidence and feminine swagger. Simply walking like this can instantly get a respectable guy’s attention.
b. Next, consider arching your lower back to allow tension off your upper-back and shoulders.
Your shoulders can be sub-communicate many things to men. When you use them correctly, you can emulate what men find irresistible.
Hunching sub-communicates low self-confidence, which is not what many high-quality men look for.
Shoulders should be rolled back a bit as to not hide your chest (no matter the size) and to avoid hunching.
c. Raise your chin.
A chin up in the air conveys self-confidence instantly.
This will also help focus your body to stand straight up, as if you’re laying vertically on a bed.
d. Most importantly, smile!
What makes a woman desirable is a winning smile. A woman who smiles tells men on a gut level that you’re open, confident and feminine while no smile makes him wonder if you’ll be difficult to please.
This body language is irresistible to men on a subconscious level… beyond their conscious control.
When you have powerful body language, it’s as close to “magic” as it gets to seeing men respond instantly with irresistible attraction.
Are most high-quality guys really looking for “supermodel” good looks?
I’ve learned that most guys are not looking for a supermodel.
Physical attraction is created simply by a man seeing that you care about your presentation.
If a man is “talking” to you, it means he’s physically attracted enough to you to be in a relationship with you.
Beauty, healthy hair, good-looking skin, well-done makeup, healthy weight; these are the superficial things men adore.
Where many women get tripped up is believing that external beauty is everything… it is not.
Have you ever stopped to think… what is beauty?
It’s a question I like thinking about.
I believe beauty is the outward expression of femininity. men are attracted to like NOTHING else.
But it’s against femininity to be obsessed with looks, or you become an insecure rollercoaster seeking approval from men. When you chase after validation, you can’t be irresistible.
Here’s what I believe makes a woman desirable:
The fact is inner is just as important as outer.
There is a way to spark internally beautiful to men in a way that makes men respond like crazy.
You are a goal driven, intelligent woman.
I know because you’re seeking answers to this essential area of life called “love”.
However, many smart women get tripped up thinking too much… usually about the past or worrying about the future.
The problem is, getting stuck in your head kills attraction with men.
A woman who is “here now” is sharp, responsive, alive, witty and keeps a man on his toes.
Men can look into her eyes and see that she is with him here and now and not over-thinking and allow him to fall in love.
A woman who is in the “now” is completely attractive and irresistible to men.
Most men never find this woman, so when she does come, well let’s just say, have you ever heard of those stories about guys proposing after dating for three months?
There is a way to cultivate this aspect of yourself, and I believe you have this ability inside you… you just have to learn how.
Many smart women fall into this tricky trap….
Confusing neediness for love.
I’ve come to discover that neediness can disguise itself as “love”.
Let me explain…
I think we can agree that true love is when we think about the other person’s happiness before our own.
Neediness is a fixation on how our own needs are not being met.
Love is courageous and feels blissful… while neediness is fear-based and feels painful.
Many guys sense neediness the more time they spend with a girl, which can cause them to slowly pull away.
When a woman starts to get emotionally attached to a guy and hopes that he gives her more love and attention, men often pull away because this is not what men want in a girlfriend. It is far from what makes a woman desirable in their eyes.
What most men find irresistible and want is a woman who LOVES them rather than needs them.
Need is not being able to live without a man, while love is wanting him to be an addition to your life.
A woman who has the confidence to love and desire gets the love from the man she wants. Women who are overly-attached, on the other hand, will find it difficult to acquire the love they want.
It is possible to develop high levels confidence with men – this is what men find irresistible.
If you deal with neediness everyday and want to become confident and free of fear, anxiety, neediness, self-doubt or jealousy, then check out my emotional balancing tips.
Most men enjoy independence, but I’ve found that men secretly want to feel taken care of as well.
To many women this comes naturally. The problem is when men do hurtful things, many women pull back this quality out of fear, insecurity or anger.
The Indian mystic Osho once said “a man’s life is a journey to find the happiness he once felt inside the womb of his mother.” Profound stuff.
Could you imagine what would happen if you were able to make him feel the happiness he once felt in his mother’s womb?
Is it even possible?
There are ways to make him feel this way that I don’t have time to get into now (you can learn more in my products and programs).
It’s a basic female, motherly instinct to nurture.
Most guys do want a tiny bit of mommy in the woman they’re spending their time with.
But because of society, “responsibilities” and the resentment many women subconsciously feel towards men, many women end up losing touch with this part of themselves. Instead, they reprimand their man for not being able to wear the pants in the relationship.
If you’re not nurturing to a man, there’s a good chance that he will feel a level of distrust in your ability to fulfill him emotionally.
Sex is a powerful, emotionally bonding event.
And mastering the bedroom can trigger a man’s heart to open up to you and massively change how a man feels about you.
Many magazines come out with “tricks” for the bedroom.
But there’s something simpler and more effective you can do to be irresistible to men in the bedroom.
It comes down to this…
You must know how to create a relaxed environment in the bedroom. Most women create tensed environment in the bedroom by worrying about how they look or if they’re “pleasing” him.
That all you need to start making men feel irresistibly in love and attracted to you in the bedroom.
This simple shift can cause a man to feel that you are different from other girls. It’s easier than you might think to master the bedroom with men, you just have to know how and then act.
There are women who live in fear, and women who live in love.
In my experience, most women live in fear.
The list goes on.
Fear can kill a man’s attraction because men are universally drawn to women who live in love, positivity, joy, creativity.
Unfortunately, most women live in constant worry, self-judgment, guilt or anxiety due to not knowing how to get what they want from men.
On the other hand, what makes a woman desirable is choosing to love over fear. When you base your actions with men off of love-based thoughts, you act in ways that attract love from men.
A woman who sees dance, celebration and music wherever she goes is one of the most desirable qualities a woman can have.
Love is, in fact, the most powerful energy in the universe.
I’d like to ask you an obvious yet powerful question…
Why do so many women fail to make men irresistibly attracted to them?
Some women would say a lack of confidence or not being pretty enough.
Well, the truth I’ve found after coaching women around the world for over 10 years is most women aren’t irresistible to guys because they lack integrity.
Unfortunately, many women simply do whatever they think will get them the results they want… even if that means dishonest behavior or games.
Ironically, this is exactly what robs women of their power with men.
Some women feel “entitled” to act this way because of how they have been badly and unfairly treated by men in the past.
What makes a woman desirable is having admirable love-centered values.
When a man knows a woman can be swayed to dishonesty to get what she wants, he will lose trust and may leave because he knows one day, it may be him at the business end of her sword.
A woman who stands up for love and won’t play games is a beacon of light to men.
This can and often does inspire men out of their own B.S.
If you want to make a man feel ecstatic love and want to stay with only you, you must know what to avoid that makes men fall out of love, lose attraction, or want to leave.
I’ve created a FREE “Male Psychology” eLetter Series to get you started, where I share secrets about the male mind and how to create a successful relationship with a man.
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I’ve seen a few “chick flicks” in my day, and while they’re good hearted, they tend to be filled with unnecessary drama… to the content of many women.
One movie, which had a particularly interesting piece of information in it was The Wedding Date, in which the guy in the movie (a high-class hooker) says in an interview with a journalist “Every woman has the exact love life she wants.” I’m not a fan of marriage, but this quote is right on ball.
What exactly does this mean?
It means that whatever your circumstance your love life faces, you are making the choice for it to be that way.
If things are not going so well, you are choosing to listen to fear and hatred.
If things are going fantastically, you are making the choice to listen to love and happiness. You are owning your own power. But whether you listen to love or fear is not the point, the point is that the decision is your’s to choose.
If you begin to pay particular attention to the circumstances in your love life, you will see that somehow, there was a choice that led you to it. It’s hard to hear, but somebody’s got to say it!
But, many women get themselves wrapped up into a victim mentality. A victim mentality is the opposite of making a choices. A victim believes that all of the choices were made for her, and a victim usually lives her problematic life enjoying it.
Women, unlike men to a large extend, feel guilty for all of their problems. Women feel somehow to blame. But this is not true! You are not guilty, you simply have not taken up the responsibility of your love life yet. And there is a VERY fine line between responsibility | guilt.
Guilt looks to the past and to what cannot be undone. Responsibility looks to the future and to what can be created with what you have available to you right now. And let me tell you that no matter how many times you have failed, there is always room to change right NOW.
Sorry to burst your bubble, but women enjoy their problems! They go out to a bar and have a round of martini’s discussing man troubles. It’s a night out. The victim mentality is everywhere and it’s always being shown to you. It’s on TV, soap operas, movies, the theater, your mom.
People are rewarded for being victims and losing at life, being pushed around by the seas rather than grabbing life by the balls and making their own choices about how they want to live.
There is great fear that once she make the choice to live by her freewill, she will no longer feel valued by others.
A woman who takes responsibility for creating her own love life has the love life she has always wanted. Checkout this blog post to learn how to get more in touch with this.
When she lives by choice, validation drops away and instead of the validation once received from others, they become jealous. Most women have crappy love lives and they want you to live it right there with them. We are all selfish and want what’s best for us.
It’s like this: 10% of people grab life by the balls and the other 90% are jealous of them, and the jealousy is disguised in disrespect, anger, insults, rudeness.
But dropping the validation of jealous wannabes for the magnificence of love and happiness is more than a fair trade off 😉
You are no one’s slave: you are a free being. This is simple truth. Even when you decide that you are a victim, still it is a choice to become a victim.
The very first thing to achieving the love life you want is to take responsibility. Nothing can come if that does not come first. Only haphazard events will come, and then you will be 40 in the blink of an eye and all of those haphazard events will cease. Then you will have to take responsibility! There will be no other choice!
A victim never gets the love life she want. A victim is always a half-hearted event. It can never be full of heart, because even she knows that she’s making the choice to fool herself.
It means that your life is your own responsibility and no chromosome, no friend and TV drama show is going to hold you back from making your own choices, and because of that, you are given tremendous power. You no longer have to stand by and watch things happen to you. You have the choice to make things happen for you.
You have the power to make your love life the way that you want it. I would not say it if I hadn’t experienced it myself.
You hold all of the marbles for your own love life. It starts with choosing to be a victim or to grab life by the balls.
Self-improvement happens to a woman who does not accept herself.
When she doesn't accept herself – and the non-acceptance comes from guilt – she becomes driven to improve and to become something unnatural than what she really is.
“Self-improvement is masturbation” is a quote from the movie Fight Club.
I actually didn't understand the quote for the longest time… I was too busy trying to improve!
Only when I stopped trying to improve myself and began to accept myself exactly the way I was did I realize exactly what it means.
When you want to improve upon yourself, you are dissatisfied with the way you are.
If you want to improve a house, you don’t like it the way it is. If you want to improve a car, you don’t like it the way it is. But when it comes to self improvement, not accepting yourself is a death sentence to happiness.
You start reading books and you begin to stop living life.
A heart full of love has no desire to become something else. When you are in love, love is all that is needed.
The Beatles hit the nail on the head when they wrote “All You Need is Love”.
When there is love, what possible reason would one have to improve upon it? There is none.
But many people have no love, and when love is gone there is fear.
So, the loveless and dead ego sees a necessity to improvement on the self.
A voice inside says “There's nothing inside here it scares me… Let's do something about it!”
Your logic says “I don't have it so I will go get it.”
Living life without love is like trying to drive a car without oil. There’s just metal grinding and clanking up against metal without lubrication, without something soothing to coat everything.
A car without oil is very loud. It sounds just like a jackhammer with all of the metal clanking around.
We intuitively know that feeling good and love is THE way to go, and today it seems self-improvement is the path of choice for most.
The greatest irony is that when we do accept ourselves and even to seemingly ridiculous and painful circumstances, we become what we were trying to improve to in the first place.
It doesn’t come as a result of trying to get somewhere, it comes as a result of relaxing.
Trying to get somewhere is the opposite direction of where happiness and love is.
There is no doing or trying required at all, just relaxing… just enjoying life!
Then, out of nowhere without even looking for it, love floods a person’s body like a hurricane.
It's the truest way.
You get somewhere with self-improvement, but it’s a very watered down version of the real thing… the same way that masturbation is a watered down version of passionate, experimental, 12 hour long Tantric love making.
The point of self-improvement is to be happy, but happiness can't be attained like a trophy.
It’s something that is already there inside of you and on occasion – like at a party, with a lover, riding down a rollercoaster – it gets released for some fresh air.
It's always right there in you, but guilt, fear and mindless restlessness keeps it from coming out. You need to get rid of all the “junk” you don't need in there. The inner is MORE important than the outer.
Happiness is “achieved” by getting rid of the junk that piles up rather than finding it somewhere.
Guilt, fear and the restlessness must be let go of, and when I say they must be let go of, there is no effort involved. You simply unplug the power cord. It takes energy for your body and mind to function, and how that energy is used is up to you. The energy needs your cooperation.
As soon as that happens, relaxation becomes possible, the base of love. It sweeps over one like the night sky at dusk.
When this relaxation comes, love comes. When a person is so full of love and happiness, what need is there to improve upon it? When a beautiful, attractive lover is around to have sex with, what need is there to masturbate? It’s ridiculous and unnecessary! In fact there is no desire to do so.
When you have the real thing, the false thing no longer has any value. The love and relaxation happens right then and there, right now.