Let me ask you a question.

Have you ever been in a situation with a man where your heart was completely shatter over something that happened between you two?

Maybe he cheated on you…Maybe he left you…Maybe you couldn't be together anymore….Maybe fill in the blank?

Well hopefully, what I'm about to share with you will change your entire perspective on what was actually going on here.

When “bad things” happen in your love life, they are actually good thing.

Incredibly good things are sometimes disguised in negative clothing.But there are two ways to look at bad events:

  1. As a destroying to yourself and self-esteem
  2. As a valuable test to learn from

Let's just get this out of the way.

Do you really think it's at all productive to healing your love life to view the situation through number one?

I didn't think so.

The first one is not even based in reality. It's a falsity based on somebody who doesn't take responsibility for their own love life, and since people like us aren't like that, let's just throw that one out the window right now.

Number two gets a woman closer and closer to security, truth and love in a relationship.

Most women will look at a guy who:

…from the eyes of number one. And she finds an interesting thing: it gets her NOWHERE. It only destroys a little more of her self-esteem.

A woman that finds success in relationship and in love always sees her love life through number two. There's no other way.

It's easy for many women to go through number one because many women worry constantly about everything…even whether they remember to turn off the toaster before they left for work…but when someone worries, any “testing event” with enormous possibilities for understanding their own love life that comes along will be seen as negative and hurtful. The worrying was there and then the “bad” event just confirms the worrying. Then she goes on worrying into the future because she proved herself right.

“I was worried this would happen! I knew it would happen!”

But this is wrong. The only thing she proved right was that her focus of attention was in the exact wrong place.Let me explain with an example.

A woman has sex with a man and never hears from him again. She begins to get down on herself, feesl rejected and scared it will happen again in the future.

Since now we're focused on viewing bad events as valuable learning lessons to grow from, let me ask you this: What can be learned from a meditative place…not a reactive place?

…Just to name a few off the top of my head.Of course these are all things that need to be developed, and that's exactly why I developed the “Relationship Rockstar” training (more on this later).

Then, there are the specifics of learning WHY this man didn't want to see her again. What did she do to create that situation for herself? Did she hook up with a guy that she KNEW somewhere deep down would do this to her? Was she not vulnerable enough so the guy thought it was just a one time thing? Was she not loving and accepting of herself enough allowing herself to be used? What is there to be learned?

Typically, a worried filled woman would take this situation and begin to condemn herself for it all. “What did I do wrong?” she asks… Instead of “What can I do right?”

Do you see what I mean?

It's about viewing a situation positively rather than negatively…and from my experience viewing even the most horrendous experience through positive eyes pays off way more than the opposite.

There is no reason for self-condemnation…there's only reason for self-exploration.

The important thing about these learnings is they must come from a place of “proaction”, not reaction…from relaxation, not pain.

When I have taught this method to women, they automatically start thinking, “OK, I won't do this, and I won't do that. I'll be more of a bitch. I'll close down more so people think I'm cooler.”

They are shooken up from the event and are reacting. So, the first thing to do is to go relax: get a massage, meditate, take a jog, enjoy the park, enjoy the sun and the cool breeze…whatever it is that takes the tension out of you.

Since I know you are at least trying to be responsible for your love life, sart cutting your actions from what happens to you in life.

Choose your actions, don't let your actions be chosen for you by the circustances.Then, the next thing to do is to see the event as a “test”. It was nothing more than a test to make sure you're on the right path and to make you stronger. What lessons was the test trying to teach or remind you of?

Taking the negative situations as tests take all of the worry out of the situation. Seeing every event that could negatively impact you as a positive one, one that enriches you, one sent to you to give you value will make you a relaxed, grateful person. From this place, less and less of these bad things and more and more good things happen.

It will erases those problems that seem to come up repeatedly and one's life will become more stable, more loving.

To start getting your emotions in balance, you must get on my “Confessions Of A Relationship Expert” eLetter where I send you newsletter with my most up-to-date relationship, man and love life secrets.

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With honor,
Brandon

NOTE: If you haven't read the first History of the Sexual World, Part 1 , read it before reading this one.

I'm about to “crack the code” of the love and relationship climate we all live in today.

In the previous post, we learned that we're living in what I call the Phase Two Equals.

This phase is the most important of all to understand because it's the situation we live in right now.

In fact, I don't even want to call it the “equals” phase anymore.

It needs a more suitable name… like The Revenge Phase.

Yeah I like!

It needs to be called the “Revenge Phase” because if you haven't noticed, there is a HUGE rivalry between the sexes today.

It seems like a playful rivalry, but once you get into a long term relationship, 3 years down the line those playful shots at him become REALITIES and vice versa.

Yikes.

Thing is, most people live in FEAR rather than love.

Remember, if everybody loved as much as they say they did, if parents loved their children and friends truly loved their friends, this world would be a completely different place.

But instead, we live under HEAPS of fear.

If you go to the bottom of even everyday interactions, almost all of them are based in fear.

Have you ever gone out to a clothing store and saw somebody you knew, but you didn't want to talk to them so you dove into the bra section?

Yeah I thought so. 🙂

So, it's only natural that once women began to come out of centuries of oppression from men, they wanted revenge.

When we are afraid, we like to attack.

When countries are afraid of each other, they start building more bombs.

When people are afraid of each other, they start rumors and insight fights.

(If you don't understand what I mean when I say “love and fear”, you can check out my post Love and Fear).

I mean I would have done the same!

Often times, fear breeds more fear. The feminist movement of the 60's and 70's was based on hate and fear as contradictory as it may seem.

Otherwise, what need is there to revolt?

If it was fueled with loved, there would have been no marches, rallies or protesting. You would have been at home sipping tea, feeling fine!

Women were breaking away from what they were used to. When we are freed of a certain circumstance that we fear, there's a tendency to swing to the opposite polarity. The same way butch women are butch because they fear their femininity.

Swinging to the opposite creates new issues.

In the American Revolution, when the time came to choose a type of government, they swung to the opposite of a monarch. They wanted NO central government, and now we are presented with NEW issues.

The pendulum hasn't yet become at rest.

We live in a relationship era where polarity is seldom found. Most women live in fear and many men feel dominated by women sexually.

Tons and tons of men have “mommy syndrome”. The men of today's mommies wanted to make damn sure that their boys wouldn't be the abusive jerks that they were dating and ended up leaving them.

Women as a collective are living a very peculiar life today. They have more sexual power over men than they have ever had, yet they have never been more afraid of men in history.

It happens all the time when I go and talk to a woman, from the second I say “Hi”, she feels the fear serge up through her bones. I can visibly see it happening! Her voice shakes, she stutters, her eyes dart around, head tilts down… in other words, she gets pretty weird. She's not used to feeling so out of control with a man other than with daddy when she was a wee one. She feels no trust in herself, and because she can't trust herself, she doesn't trust anybody else. She knows it's polarity that she wants, but she is terrified.

She is in a very subtle, subconscious state of revenge against men that carried over from Mommy and Mommy's mommy. The revenge holds her back more than she could ever realize.

Most women fear men. She is simply lost. Women haven't grown much because of this fear and revenge. It seems that way, but really it's just that men have become submissive and women feel a lot more powerful over them now. Men are pacified. It's the same as winning the Olympics if you are normal and healthy at the Special Olympics.

Men are also affected by the revenge. That's why many times men are either idiotic macho football jackasses or submissive and weak. It's even more funny to me that so many women settle for the football jack asses just because it's closer to what they want. It's no wonder why so many women are obsessed with chick flicks and romantic comedies.
If you're a woman and think this isn't you, unless you were raised in very unique circumstances, like raised by Native American shamans in a tree house in the Amazonian jungle, there's a 99% chance this is deeply embedded into your psyche.

Put simply, the current relationship atmosphere is doused in fear.

But I'm telling you that when a well balanced, strong, confident, attractive and in touch with his feminine side man comes along, most women are too afraid to ever be able to handle him. It's simply that fear that ruins everything. The fear alone ruins it. The women who are most successful with me personally are the ones with little to lose and much to gain.

High vibing men respond to love. This is why I stress so much HEART CONSCIOUSNESS. Heart consciousness erases the fear, gives power and then when a man like this comes along, the fear that ruined everything before is simply gone. MEDITATION. I don't care when, what, why or even how you meditate. Meditation could be smelling and picking the roses to you, I don't care, just as long as the heart begins to bloom open.

Fear is just a notice that says “Love is not here. I am empty and love is needed to fill me up.” Then when love comes, when the heart bursts opens, the fear goes away and successes start occurring. Life starts having a storyline to it, like in a movie. It's pretty trippy! And until a person experiences it, they won't know it.

It has to be understood that fear is just an indication that love is missing. It is nothing more than the “check engine” light in a car HUD.

Thing is, you ARE free. You are not obligated to anyone, and because you are free you have absolute power in determining your own reality. All of these “musts” and “have to's” are self-imposed obligations. No one is forcing them upon us except for us. And when that realization happens, they drop away and life becomes more about love rather than paying the bills. And because we hold the responsibility, we can just let it go. Just let it go and freaking relax for once. It's more like an allowing to leave. We just allow the tensions, obsessions and obligations to leave.

Once all of this tension leaves on it's own, without forcing anything to happen, we become enabled to make real choices. It's like an “On” switch turns on in the brain. Choices with inspiration and love behind them instead of tension and anxiety…What a concept!

Once we are relaxed, love is that much more present. Love bubbles up out of relaxation.

This is what leads us into the kind of relationships that we have always wanted, the kind of love lives, you know, full of love, growth, awareness, respect. This “inside a boyfriend's mind tricks” BS won't get you there. 😉

Haha, alright that's all for now,

Brandon

p.s. If you haven't already signed up for my heart centered dating/relationship tips newsletter, type your first name and email up in that box with the tree and the “Free Report”.