There are different levels that a person goes through on the relationship journey.
Specifically in my experience, there are three levels.
I’ve seen a few chick flicks in my day, and while they’re good hearted, they tend to be filled with unnecessary drama. 😉
One movie, which had a particularly interesting piece of information in it was The Wedding Date, in which the guy in the movie (a high-class hooker) says in an interview with a journalist “Every woman has the exact love life she wants.” I’m not a fan of marriage, but this quote is right on ball.
What exactly does this mean?
It means that whatever your circumstance your love life faces, you are making the choice for it to be that way.
If things are not going so well, you are choosing to listen to fear and hatred.
If things are going fantastically, you are making the choice to listen to love and happiness. You are owning your own power. But whether you listen to love or fear is not the point, the point is that the decision is your’s to choose.
If you begin to pay particular attention to the circumstances in your love life, you will see that somehow, there was a choice that led you to it. It’s hard to hear, but somebody’s got to say it!
But, many women get themselves wrapped up into a victim mentality. A victim mentality is the opposite of making a choices. A victim believes that all of the choices were made for her, and a victim usually lives her problematic life enjoying it.
Women, unlike men to a large extend, feel guilty for all of their problems. Women feel somehow to blame. But this is not true! You are not guilty, you simply have not taken up the responsibility of your love life yet. And there is a VERY fine line between responsibility | guilt.
Guilt looks to the past and to what cannot be undone. Responsibility looks to the future and to what can be created with what you have available to you right now. And let me tell you that no matter how many times you have failed, there is always room to change right NOW.
Sorry to burst your bubble, but women enjoy their problems! They go out to a bar and have a round of martini’s discussing man troubles. It’s a night out. The victim mentality is everywhere and it’s always being shown to you. It’s on TV, soap operas, movies, the theater, your mom.
People are rewarded for being victims and losing at life, being pushed around by the seas rather than grabbing life by the balls and making their own choices about how they want to live.
There is great fear that once she make the choice to live by her freewill, she will no longer feel valued by others.
A woman who takes responsibility for creating her own love life has the love life she has always wanted. Checkout this blog post to learn how to get more in touch with this.
When she lives by choice, validation drops away and instead of the validation once received from others, they become jealous. Most women have crappy love lives and they want you to live it right there with them. We are all selfish and want what’s best for us.
It’s like this: 10% of people grab life by the balls and the other 90% are jealous of them, and the jealousy is disguised in disrespect, anger, insults, rudeness.
But dropping the validation of jealous wannabes for the magnificence of love and happiness is more than a fair trade off 😉
You are no one’s slave: you are a free being. This is simple truth. Even when you decide that you are a victim, still it is a choice to become a victim.
The very first thing to achieving the love life you want is to take responsibility. Nothing can come if that does not come first. Only haphazard events will come, and then you will be 40 in the blink of an eye and all of those haphazard events will cease. Then you will have to take responsibility! There will be no other choice!
A victim never gets the love life she want. A victim is always a half-hearted event. It can never be full of heart, because even she knows that she’s making the choice to fool herself.
It means that your life is your own responsibility and no chromosome, no friend and TV drama show is going to hold you back from making your own choices, and because of that, you are given tremendous power. You no longer have to stand by and watch things happen to you. You have the choice to make things happen for you.
You have the power to make your love life the way that you want it. I would not say it if I hadn’t experienced it myself.
You hold all of the marbles for your own love life. It starts with choosing to be a victim or to grab life by the balls.