Emotions in relationships can be blinding, especially when fear comes up….fear about him cheating, thinking about other women, being angry at you or even leaving and never finding love in your life.
But here's the thing.
Fear is one of the most blinding emotions there are, because it “rationalizes” all of the reasons why you should be afraid.
This is why I (and many of my relationship expert friends) say to be careful of which emotions you decide to believe are true.
What do I mean by “decide to believe”?
If you feel a feeling of fear, for instance, it makes “logical sense” to believe that the feeling is justified and right because of all the reasons that show it's rights…when in reality it's actually not.
Here's what I mean.
Many women I coach are afraid of their boyfriend leaving.
They become so afraid that they become paralyzed and do NOTHING to help the situation. They are so consumed with the fear they can hardly breathe.
Instead, they make things WORSE by getting emotional with men, frustrated with him and begging him not to leave.
I know that's a hard to admit, but we've all done it.
All of these things tell a man that a woman is not “girlfriend material” and actually make him want to leave.
It's hard to believe, but if this point isn't accepted you'll continue to make men see you as not attractive and “forgettable”…even though he isn't doing his share (which we'll talk about later).
The point is fear makes you act wrongly with men.
Your fear says that the worst case scenario is happening when in fact it's NOT…and it's even possible that just the opposite is happening.
Carl Jung, famed social psychologist, tells of a story of a poor old man who discovered something MAGICAL while beginning to plow his farm for the start of the season, and destroys his only tool the plow.
This old man had less in his bank account than Britney Spears….
He was dirt poor, his wife and children had just left him for another man and all he had was his farm, an ox and an old plow.
He had started plowing his field for the start of the season when almost immediately his plow hit a large immovable object in the ground and immediately broke his plow in two.
He couldn't believe it. It was all he had!
He became afraid and so angry. “What am I going to do now…I have nothing left…You lied to me god! Why?!” He started crying and began thinking of suicide, when he thought…
“What did my plow hit anyway?”
He walked over to the spot his broken-in-two plow struck and curiously saw a big shiny golden ring sticking up halfway out of the ground.
He thought “This is strange…”
He began digging the strange ring up out of the ground, but it was attached to something much larger stuck deeper in the ground.
He spent an hour digging and heaved it up out of the ground. And when he pulled it up, it was a giant, heavy wooden chest.
When he cracked it open he COULDN'T BELIEVE what he saw. A chest filled the brim with gold doubloons , diamonds the size of fists, emeralds and rubies.
Where was the fear now?
In his greatest defeat was his greatest triumph.
That's to say that fear BLINDS. In your greatest fear is a great treasure if you know what to look for and how to see it.
Here's the next thing that's going to be a little harder for me to explain to you.
Another emotions that wouldn't suspect so easily to blind you is love.
Love is one of the most profound things on this earth (if not the most), but if you're not careful love can blind you in much the same way that fear does.
Because love can overwhelm your judgment if you're not careful.
That's why I always say to women who come to me that a woman MUST have some sort of meditation she practices if she's to have any hope of having a decent relationship. She needs to own her own willpower and just do it.
I have more than 20 different meditation I show women who come to me for coaching or try one of my products.
If you don't have one, you can be RULED by your emotions and become “asleep” to what's really happening in your love life.
The feminine world can be a scary place! I've never been there myself (thank god…), but I've seen what happens many times with my own two eyes.
It's so scary and chaotic that not even women seem to know what women want…
But the point is what do you think this blind view does to her love life, her relationship?Instead of a bonfire burning to keep her warm, her emotions turn into a wildfire burning every tree, animal and sign of life.
The feminine world has great power to be chaotic in a relationship, but it has all the power to bring life to it.
Here's the “secret”.
If you become what I call “yin feminine”, your emotions become attractive to men and cause men to want to bring love to your love life.
When you're balanced “yin” (and it's not hard to get there with the right information at hand), your emotions are attractive to men, and cause men to move towards you…and even want to be a better man for you.
Sometimes it's unreal how one little change can cause such a shift in love. But a fire can either keep you alive or kill you.
If you want to learn how to better balance your emotions and learn how you're emotions can actually be used to make you more attractive to a man, I highly recommend you signing up for my free “Confessions Of A Relationship Expert” eLetter.
You can do that right here:
Click Here For Brandon’s “Confessions Of A Relationship Expert” eLetter
Thanks for listening to my psychobabble hocus-pocus and I'll talk to you again soon. 🙂
With balance and love,
There is a long standing unspoken rule for women: “I must be pretty or I don't stand a chance being attractive to him.”
How much truth is there really in this statement? We all know that most men are become dumb as a stump in the presence of an attractive woman, but is this all they pay attention to?
Men understand that they want a beautiful woman. Men ARE attracted to physical beauty.
Yeah that is true, but there are also other things a woman posses that men don't necessarily understand “why” they want. (more…)