There is a long standing unspoken rule for women: “I must be pretty or I don't stand a chance being attractive to him.”

How much truth is there really in this statement? We all know that most men are become dumb as a stump in the presence of an attractive woman, but is this all they pay attention to?

Men understand that they want a beautiful woman. Men ARE attracted to physical beauty.

Yeah that is true, but there are also other things a woman posses that men don't necessarily understand “why” they want. 

And I don't mean this in that “fairy-tale ending” I-don't-care-what-you-look-like kind of way…

A man, just like you, doesn't really know exactly what he wants. He knows he want certain things, physical beauty and a strong career for instance, but he also doesn't realize that he wants other certain things until he comes face to face with it.

There are qualities that a woman can posses that will blow a high quality man right over, but women who posses these quality are rare.

I know many women who set out with an ideal “perfect man” in there head and end up falling in love with a man who is completely different. The same thing applies to men. I know tons of men who set out looking for an attractive woman who gets them approval from their friends etc., but end up with not that type of woman, and it has nothing to do with settling.  The woman sparks something in him he has never known.

So, you might be wondering by now what these mysterious qualities are that can take a man off the physical beauty conveyer belt.

These 12 things are a good start. If you haven't read it, you gotta check it out right now.

But, there is something more to it. What turns a man's head to a woman even if she isn't physically attractive to him?  What makes a man want a woman even if she isn't the most physically attractive type (and when I say “not physically attractive”, I mean that she is at least keeping herself in shape as best as she can).  “There is no such thing as an unattractive woman, only a lazy one” to quote a past girlfriend.

So, what causes a light bulb to actually flicker in his head and say “hmm, there is something about this woman… I just can't explain it”?

The secret lies in your own femininity.

Femininity is the single most important attractive quality a woman has.  Yes, your very own natural femininity. Even physical beauty is just a branch of femininity. Femininity is the whole tree.

I know that, personally, I have chosen to be with women who weren't the most physically attractive in my book, but I could look past it because they shined, they emanated something a lot more. There was a light in her eyes.

An “unattractive women” who see herself as such has lost that light. She has become hopeless and has lost touch with her femininity, her very silo of attractiveness. She gets down on herself and worries constantly.  She has the femininity there, but it gets covered up by negative thoughts and emotions.

I also know from experience that a physically gorgeous woman with nothing else to offer can become exhausting, a burden. I can't tell you the number of times I've wanted to take this kind of woman by the hair and belt and toss her out a window (metaphorically speaking of course).  And I know a few women who have wanted to do that with the men they date!

Idiotic women with nothing more to offer than their looks are not attractive to high quality men who have something to offer.

A guy will be attracted to this kind of woman immediately, sure, and maybe even spend an evening with her, but soon after he wild be dying to press the “eject” button. A high quality man can be with a number of different women, why would he waste his time with one like this?

We wants to gravitate towards a woman who has that spark of pure femininity in her eye.

Now, other than femininity, the other part is self-belief.

Yes, just how you love confidence in a man, a man likes a little confidence in you. Not too little and not too much, but just right.

Too much and you become too masculine just like him and then he loses the polar attraction for you, and too little and you become a doormat he doesn't respect. These don't really spark a man's interest.

He wants someone who is confident, but also a woman who is feminine.  He wants someone who is going to be strongest to take on the world with him and someone soften enough to give him feminine life, something he is obvious lacking in.

Confidence puts out the signal to him and your femininity sucks him in.

Physical beauty may seem like the “be all end all”, but femininity is the real be all end all and it is something you have complete control over.

And when you come to your femininity and confidence, this causes the man to respond to you in a completely different way than what you are used to. He opens up to you, and he takes you under his wing.

With love and honor,