“Self-Improvement Is Masturbation”

Self-improvement happens to a woman who does not accept herself.

When she doesn't accept herself – and the non-acceptance comes from guilt – she becomes driven to improve and to become something unnatural than what she really is.

“Self-improvement is masturbation” is a quote from the movie Fight Club.

I actually didn't understand the quote for the longest time… I was too busy trying to improve!

Only when I stopped trying to improve myself and began to accept myself exactly the way I was did I realize exactly what it means.

When you want to improve upon yourself, you are dissatisfied with the way you are.

If you want to improve a house, you don’t like it the way it is. If you want to improve a car, you don’t like it the way it is. But when it comes to self improvement, not accepting yourself is a death sentence to happiness.

You start reading books and you begin to stop living life.

A heart full of love has no desire to become something else. When you are in love, love is all that is needed.

The Beatles hit the nail on the head when they wrote “All You Need is Love”.

When there is love, what possible reason would one have to improve upon it? There is none.

But many people have no love, and when love is gone there is fear.

So, the loveless and dead ego sees a necessity to improvement on the self.

A voice inside says “There's nothing inside here it scares me… Let's do something about it!”

Your logic says “I don't have it so I will go get it.”

Living life without love is like trying to drive a car without oil. There’s just metal grinding and clanking up against metal without lubrication, without something soothing to coat everything.

A car without oil is very loud. It sounds just like a jackhammer with all of the metal clanking around.

We intuitively know that feeling good and love is THE way to go, and today it seems self-improvement is the path of choice for most.

The greatest irony is that when we do accept ourselves and even to seemingly ridiculous and painful circumstances, we become what we were trying to improve to in the first place.

It doesn’t come as a result of trying to get somewhere, it comes as a result of relaxing.

Trying to get somewhere is the opposite direction of where happiness and love is.

There is no doing or trying required at all, just relaxing… just enjoying life!

Then, out of nowhere without even looking for it, love floods a person’s body like a hurricane.

It's the truest way.

You get somewhere with self-improvement, but it’s a very watered down version of the real thing… the same way that masturbation is a watered down version of passionate, experimental, 12 hour long Tantric love making.

The point of self-improvement is to be happy, but happiness can't be attained like a trophy.

It’s something that is already there inside of you and on occasion – like at a party, with a lover, riding down a rollercoaster – it gets released for some fresh air.

It's always right there in you, but guilt, fear and mindless restlessness keeps it from coming out. You need to get rid of all the “junk” you don't need in there.  The inner is MORE important than the outer.

Happiness is “achieved” by getting rid of the junk that piles up rather than finding it somewhere.

Guilt, fear and the restlessness must be let go of, and when I say they must be let go of, there is no effort involved. You simply unplug the power cord. It takes energy for your body and mind to function, and how that energy is used is up to you. The energy needs your cooperation.

As soon as that happens, relaxation becomes possible, the base of love. It sweeps over one like the night sky at dusk.

When this relaxation comes, love comes. When a person is so full of love and happiness, what need is there to improve upon it? When a beautiful, attractive lover is around to have sex with, what need is there to masturbate? It’s ridiculous and unnecessary! In fact there is no desire to do so.

When you have the real thing, the false thing no longer has any value. The love and relaxation happens right then and there, right now.

With honor,

Brandon