You’re likely reading this because you cheated on your boyfriend or husband and now you feel overwhelmed with guilt and want to tell him.
You want to tell him the truth, but you are scared shitless to lose him over it and have no idea what to do.
If you’re like many of the women I have coached, your relationship is in not good right now, and you don’t know how to find a way out of this mess. Well, today, I’m going to show you how to get out of it.
When you go to your boyfriend to tell him you have cheated on him, you have to do so very, very carefully!
The good news is, if you go about things in the right way, many men will be receptive to the truth (within reason), and will not leave you over it.
In fact, if you handle telling him the truth about cheating on him the right way, it can ultimately cause you two to become closer than ever before.
But let’s not be “fairytale” about it. Feelings will get hurt. Ego will get hurt.
But there is much you can do to mitigate the damage to your relationship with your boyfriend or husband and ensure a better outcome to the story, which I will be sharing with you in this article.
What are my qualifications?
Well, my name is Brandon Martin and I’ve been coaching women on the topics of men, dating and relationships for more than ten years at the time of this writing.
Aside from coaching women, I have been in two separate long-term relationships with women who ended up cheating… both I caught redhanded.
I’m not here to judge you about what you did. Just by you being here and reading, I respect that you are trying to fix the situation.
My disclaimer: this article is not to be take as “professional advice”. Think of this as for entertainment purposes only.
With that said, I know what works and what doesn’t with men if your goal is to KEEP your man after he finds out you cheated on him.
There are many mistakes that women make when they tell their boyfriend or husband the truth about their “extracurricular activities” and want to keep him.
In this article, I’m going to show you exactly how to tell your boyfriend or husband that you cheated to ensure the best outcome.
I’ve discovered that when women either tell that they have cheated or get “found out”, strangely many women rationalize WHY they cheated and either subtly or very overtly blame the guy for doing it.
I shouldn’t have to say this, but I will be clear.
Do not in any way blame him for cheating or rationalize why you did it (if your goal is to keep him in your life), no matter what he may have done to push you to cheat.
At the moment you confess, he may be overwhelmed with denial, upset feelings, anger and pain. The last thing you want to do is intensify these feelings and throw gasoline on the fire by rationalizing why he did or blaming him.
As a side note, it’s extremely important that you keep your cool and don’t take anything negative he says personally.
The bottom line is, when you tell him, you need to show remorse. One thing that I’ll never forget when I found out one of my girlfriends cheated on me is she said with tears in her eyes “I will spend the rest of my life making this up to you”.
This one line stuck with me and I recommend saying something along similar line when you make your confession.
As I have already mentioned, blaming him for cheating or rationalizing why you cheated is a big no no.
At a later date, it may be possible to talk about the reasons behind why you cheated, but at the initial confession, there will be too many emotions.
Even if he asks you why, your answers should be along the lines of “there is no excuse for what I did”.
Many women, not being able to cope with what they have done and the guilt of hurting someone they love, they uncontrollably start deflecting and blaming to make themselves feel better.
If you show too much remorse and you’re sobbing and crying and there’s snotting flying out of your nose, this is going take away from your attractiveness.
Before you tell your man you cheated, you absolutely must forgive yourself for doing it.
You must take time meditating on this until you can truly release at least most of the guilt you feel.
You must tell your man with calmness, strength, submission and a desire to do the right things.
You will sub-communicate all of these things when you have forgiven yourself and yet want to do the right thing and tell him the truth.
You’ll also have to do things like remind him that doing the right thing and telling the truth should be rewarded and not to punish you for coming forward.
You can only say such things if you have forgiven yourself to so extent.
At the moment you tell him, he will have many question.
A part of him will want to know details that will hurt him a lot.
It’s as if he wants to hurt more by knowing too much.
You can answer his questions, but I recommend that any “Is he bigger than me?” or “Was he better than me?” type questions be answered with a firm “No”.
Remember, his ego will be shattered. This is just the reality that you must accept. So you need to take every measure to salvage his ego as best as possible without adding fuel to the fire.
All your answers should help tame the fire that is going to be unleashed.
This is the part that a lot of women hate hearing, but the sooner you tell him the better.
Even if you know that you got away with cheating and there is no way he will ever find out, there are important reasons why waiting is a bad idea if you want a happy ending… and you want this situation to actually be an event that helps you to grow closer together.
The reason why waiting too long is a bad idea is simply because the guilt of cheating eats most women alive.
This guilt causes women to lash out and become “emotional” and unpredictable in the relationship which leads to fights, bickering, finger pointing, paranoia that he’s cheating too etc. etc. the decline of the relationship.
I have seen this many, many times both in women’s relationships who I coach and in my own personal relationships with women.
If I’m a betting man, I think you already are seeing this happen in your relationship.
This has been a brief overview of how to tell your man that you cheated.
But the truth is there is MUCH MORE you must understand about men and relationships to both tell him the truth in this situation AND ensure that your relationship is a process of growth from here on in.
That is why you need to sign up for my free eLetter down below where I will send you emails every few days with the best relationship and men advice you can find.
I wish you luck in your situation and I will see you in the eLetter.
So you have a controlling boyfriend and you’ve read “Is He Controlling Me?” Signs of a Controlling Boyfriend and now you’re ready to learn how to get him to STOP controlling you.
How do you get a controlling man, so controlling that it boils your insides, to give you as much freedom as you want and STILL give you attention, love and respect?
I’m about to show you a simple 3 step process to help reverse a man’s possessiveness, but KEEP his love and attention… while helping to set him up to be the perfect MAN for you.
The question, how do you get a man to stop being so controlling and domineering?
I’ve helped many women overcome this obstacle with men.
The first thing you must understand is that when a man is possessive, really he is very insecure and distrustful… let’s just say he’s been more “emotionally stable” in other times in his life.
I want you to take all of that anger, frustration and fear that you probably have towards him right now and be more COMPASSIONATE towards him and see things through HIS eyes.
You have every right to be angry and frustrated, but anger is not going give you a perfect relationship.
So, getting this man to stop controlling is like coaxing a wild bucking bull into calming down.
But the more you understand the bull and it’s motivations, the more successful you will be in getting that bull to trust you, respect you, and allow you to be free.
When you’re dealing with insecurity and a lack of trust in a man, you must approach him in a specific way.
So the first thing is…
What most women do when a man becomes controlling is become resent, frustrated, sad, and angry at him for controlling her… and I’m not saying women don’t have every right to be angry.
But the problem is this is the opposite of what will get him to become balanced, trust and respect you and ultimately give you freedom.
Most women don’t RESPECT themselves enough to not put up with a situation like this and will let it drag on for a long period of time.
What works that most women never think of because of the sheer amounts of emotion they are feeling is to love him unconditionally and give HIM his freedom. I know this isn’t what you were probably expecting or want to hear, so let me explain.
When a man is possessive and controlling, it can make a woman pissed off, get upset and bring a lot of pain and confusion to her.
But what happens when a women is in this negative emotional state, instead of a compassionate state, is she can often make themselves a target for being controlled.
Like attracts like, and just as his controlling has brought negative emotional energy out of you, you are at the same time helping him to distrust more and feel more insecure by your negative emotional state.
Because when a woman goes into a negative emotional state in a relationship, her actions mirror that emotional state.
What many women start doing when they are in a controlling situation is first go through a period of sadness and confusion but then get angry and try to make him feel the same things that she is feeling and make him feel hurt or guilty for what he is doing.
Men can be real assholes, especially when they become controlling jerks, but the problem is this simply is the wrong direction to take if you want to heal this situation.
Often times when I’m doing phone coaching sessions, women don’t believe me at first when I say their energy is helping to create the situation.
It’s hard for them to buy.
But their mind changes when I ask them to think about this: If you’re angry at a wild bull and start attacking it, do you think you’re going to calm him down or make him more angry?
Do you see what I mean?
Possessiveness in a man is a very primal reaction when he feels a loss of control.
It’s something men do when they feel insecure about their girlfriend staying loyal in a relationship.
So you must change your energy from anger to something else that will actually motivate him to loosen his grips.
If your energy is in anger, he will only want to control you more and will get more angry.
If instead you do the opposite: stop, take a deep breath, and start looking for solutions instead of reacting emotionally, you will already be halfway home to healing this control issue… and it can be healed easily if you make this your foundation.
And the solution is ultimately to have compassion for his insecurity and self-respect.
If you can start to put your energy into compassion instead of anger, it will make things much easier.
I’ve seen this one simple step change many men instantly.
And if you accept him fully, he will begin to make steps to accept YOU fully and your needs.
This article will show you exactly what you should when telling your boyfriend or husband that you cheated on him or had an affair. This article will also tell you what to avoid doing that will cause the situation to get out of control.
Have you ever gotten with a man you met, maybe you even slept with him, and you thought he was going to be a great boyfriend…but then he said something like “I’m not interested in a relationship right now.”
You didn’t know what to do or exactly how to feel, but you found yourself calling him often and feeling needy… then what you feared most happen: he pulled away from you and cut communication with you, and you never heard from him again?
Why did this happen?
You may not have suspected what caused it, but what caused him to withdraw completely was your unacceptable of him not wanting a relationship.
When he said “I’m not interested in a relationship” you might have reacted negatively and your feeling were hurt.
And I’m guessing that when he felt you feel that fear and resistance, that was the moment he knew for sure you weren’t “girlfriend material”, because men want a girl who can be cool with his needs and desires.
Chances are that same man was with another woman very shortly afterward, but this time he was asking her for a relationship…and it had nothing to do with age, physical attractiveness or even life circumstances.
What did she do that you didn’t?
And what does this have to do with a controlling man?
Because there’s an exact correlation to draw.
Simple fact: the more you resist a man you’re in a relationship with the more he’s going to act negatively towards you. It doesn’t matter if he’s controlling or not…. this is the bottom line.
And remember I’m not saying you don’t have a good reason, but there is no reason in the world good enough to allow you to feel negative and get what you want at the same time, because those negative emotions are going to keep you from getting what you want.
How your feelings affect the control situation is he’s going to feel like you’re slipping out of his grasp and begin making more attempts to control you.
What to do?
I have a solution for you, but it’s going to take a lot of trust on your part to pull off, trust in me, trust in your boyfriend and mostly trust in yourself.
The answer is to go WITH the flow instead of against it. Don’t try to swim upstream because you will only get more exhausted, disheartened and get NOWHERE.
When you are AGAINST something, you often STRENGTHEN it.
For instance, have you ever been in a fight with a man where he was resisting your point of view vehemently, and you were resisting his and the fight elevated?
If one person were to bring compassion and understand into the fight and see it from the other’s perspective, the whole fight would immediately vanish… not only that, but then he would be 100 times more receptive to actually listening to YOUR perspective.
And by going with it, you’re NOT “giving in” to his control.
In fact, once again you’re making another step to prepare the ground for change.
In love, usually if we move in the OPPOSITE direction of what we think will work to actually get what we want.
One of the greatest minds the world has ever seen, Albert Einstein, once said “Any fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius – and a lot of courage – to move in the opposite direction”.
You will be surprised how quickly he will begin to trust you and lets go and starts to become “Mr. Right”.
By the way, this isn’t just a useful perspective for a controlling situation… this is a “holistic” perspective and should be at the foundation of all of your relationship engagements.
Most men control because they subconsciously don’t trust their girlfriends.
So he will try to control you because he doesn’t TRUST you.
Sometimes his mistrust is based on his current relationship but also can have been created from past relationships, or even his mother.
More often it’s a combination of all three of these. One thing most women overlook is to earn his trust.
Yes, it’s that simple!
Most women think that when they get into a relationship with a man, they are entitled to his trust.
I’m not saying you aren’t trustworthy – only you know that for sure – but controlling men need trust.
Instead, many women actually break down the trust more by playing games and being dishonest because they feel afraid or upset at the situation.
Unfortunately this makes the situation far worse.
The thing is, on a subconscious level we KNOW when someones is being dishonest even if consciously we appear to not.
Trust and respect are an unconscious phenomenon. The more a person deceives another, the more that person’s trust will be broken.
If you don’t take active steps to earn and establish trust, he won’t let up. And if he IS being controlling, you haven’t earned his trust and respect enough for him to let you make your own decisions, and you are possibly doing things to AMPLIFY the situation.
How you build respect is by respecting YOURSELF.
Now listen, this isn’t your fault.
He’s grown up under different circumstances than you and has had different experiences with love and relationships. But if you want this relationship and you love him, it’s up to you to make things change, because he’s not going to.
It’s unpredictable to rely on him to change things right now without you getting the ball rolling.
Look, when he starts to trusts and respect you, he WILL let off. Not only will he let off…but he will find it a lot easier to get truly INTIMATE with you rather than holding back like he might be doing right now.
If you follow this basic three step process and use it on a daily basis, you WILL see things start to improve.
I’m not going to get into tips and “techniques” today because they’re probably going to trip you up and get in your way and I want to keep things simple.
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If you want men to be magnetically attracted to you, you must create what I call “polarity”.
Polarity is the magnetism, the passion, the “spark”, the attraction that happens between a man and a woman.
My article 12 Things a Woman Does That Men Find Irresistible caused a lot of commotion.
But there was something thing tons of women were missing that I noticed from many discussions, blogs and boards.
Most women don’t understand essentially WHAT attracts men to women.
And it doesn’t really surprise me, but this is one of the main reasons why many relationships today fail.
The answer is the energy that is created from two polar energy coming into contact… the same way that when positive and negative ions come together in the atmosphere, the result is lightning.
Polarity is when a woman assumes her yin femininity in a relationship and a man assumes his yang masculinity.
The deeper the polarity, the more opposite the energies, the more intense the attraction.
The more “yin” feminine a woman is, the more high quality attractive men will be MAGNETICALLY attracted to you.
Another was: “This stuff is common sense!”
Common sense is dangerous because once it’s “common sense”, you can become less critical of that idea, which could turn out to be completely wrong.
Then times change and new information becomes available but you don’t change with it.
You become stale and stiff like a corpse.
Relationships would be easy if they were common sense.
Instead, most women live their love lives in FEAR, not love. And the first item of “non-common sense” I’d like to bring to you is that a woman living in fear makes men lose polarity with her.
I wouldn’t call it common sense, but I would say it’s supposed to be natural and effortless.
You know, It’s crazy what people can get away with saying on the internet. A 759 pound balding hermit physically glued to his chair with no authority on a subject can give his opinion on weight loss and hair growth.
IMPORTANT: The core of the masculine is fundamentally OPPOSITE from the core of the feminine.
While femininity rides on play, fun, love, feeling, and emotion, relationships, masculinity runs on confidence, meditativeness, strength, direction, purpose, understanding.
And everyone has their own balance of masculine/feminine inside, but you are either more masculine or more feminine.
If you want to see polarity in action, visit a high school football game.
The dainty cheerleader and the macho quarterback just can’t resist each other. It’s like some force “hypnotizes” them to pull towards each other. That force is so undeniably powerful.
That force is polarity.
Opposite energies attract.
Instead of accepting and embracing this idea, many women become jealous, disguised and anger when they see a couple with polarity. But all the negativity makes it impossible to see past the cloud of anger to see what is really going on.
Polarity is more important than having common interests. It’s odd but true in my experience with coaching many women around the world.
A man and woman can have NOTHING in common, but if they have strong polarity, they can’t resist each other, even if everything else isn’t working.
I just recently heard about Ryan Reynolds and Alanis Morissette divorcing and thought “How were they even together in the first place?”
It seems like they have nothing in common.
Ryan is the Frat Boy preppy type and Alanis is the man hating rebel with an attitude, yet still they managed to have a relationship for some time.
If you have the frame of polarity and masculine feminine energy, you can see the secret.
When you are laughing, you are vulnerable. You are feminine for a second and not masculine.
When you a focused, you are unemotional and masculine in that second. For a man, the feminine qualities come AFTER he gets all his “manly man” stuff taken care of, other
wise he’ll be out of whack.
In my article The History of the Sexual World, Part 1, I explain that the sexes are in a phase of revenge conscious against each other.
In today’s world, more and more women are taking up the “masculine role”.
Women have become more dominant and men become more submissive (more on this in my post The History of the Sexual World, Part Deux! for more on this). Women have been repressed for centuries, and now post second wave feminist movement, post sexual revolution, they have become more free… and more pissed off.
Watch an average TV sitcom today and you’ll see that men mess up everything.
50 plus years ago it was women who were “screwing up” everything in Hollywood.
Just take a look at the classic sitcom “I Love Lucy”.
The times have moved on from men repressing women to a post sexual revolution world… one that involves revenge against men.
The “polar roles”, instead of macho men being dominant to their submissive housewife, have become more equal.
Perfect, finally everybody is finally happy… aren’t they?
On the surface it’s a great thing, but look deeper and you will see that relationships are DYING.
There’s endless arguing, bickering, cheating, lying, hatred etc. etc.
Today’s relationships are a worse disaster than Hurricane Katrina, no joke.
In an episode of Sex and the City, Samantha ends up in a lesbian relationship which fails… Maria: You call this a relationship?
Samantha: Well, it’s tedious and the sex is dwindling, so from what I’ve heard, YES!
Most dead relationships are rooted in dead polarity, and dead polarity causes relationships to become tedious… and… well… dead.
Polarity is what you need to cause the spark of passion.
Did you ever use to play with those little circle magnets the size of coins? What happens when you have two of those little circle magnets with an equal charge? They would just sit there. They wouldn’t do anything like push away from each other or suck together. There’s no MAGNETISM.
And when you have the same charge, + and + for instance? They push away from each other. Two leaders together are repelled by each other. Two followers do a little better but there’s still something missing.
When you flip one over to -, and the other is still + they suction together.
Positive wants negative, masculine wants feminine.
But on the other hand, most men have never been so terrified of women!
Women should just loosen up and relax with their Yin nature instead of always trying to accomplish what comes unnatural to them. And men should find their confidence and find their yang nature.
The polarity, the attraction, the passion, the absolute magic comes rushing in when the polarity is right. If you’ve hear of the Law of Attraction, this is it at work.
Now if we want polarity, one person in the relationship has to be the leader and the other the follower, otherwise you will find endless power struggle.
Now listen, I’m not saying we go back to the 1950’s. The 50’s are long over. The relationships of the 50’s were totally unconscious. The relationships of today are unconscious. So, we move forward.
We move relationships into CONSCIOUSNESS.
We take what we’ve learned from history and move out of domination, revenge, possessiveness and move towards that thing that relationships are supposed to be about…
Relationships are mostly about two things, love and growth. Everything else comes second.
Even polarity is just a stepping stone along the way to love.
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What makes men feel a woman is psychologically and emotionally irresistible?
Why do many women today experience men suddenly becoming disinterested, pulling away or shutting down… and what can you do about it?
And years researching relationship dynamics, I’ve discovered “secrets” about what makes a woman desirable and what men find irresistible, which most experts aren’t talking about.
Secrets that cause a psychic-spiritual “spark” that make men feel irresistibly attracted to a woman.
Thing is, being irresistible is not what most women think it is: youth, beauty, success or being an independent woman.
What men find irresistible is the ongoing emotional & psychic-spiritual experience a man has with you.
If you’ve had trouble keeping a guy interested, you’re likely either making one or more common mistakes that take from his emotional experience, or you’re not doing enough of the right things to create it.
It’s important that you learn how to be irresistible to men in today’s competitive dating world.
Being in the top 5% of women will change your love life and make men effortless to deal with.
Unless you understand how to be irresistible to men, you’ll likely deal with men losing interest, falling out of love or avoiding commitment. Learn about how to be irresistible to men by reading on!
Being irresistible to men has to do with the ongoing emotional & psychic-spiritual experience a man has with you.
If you’ve had trouble keeping a guy interested, you’re likely either making one or more common mistakes take from his emotional experience, or you’re not doing enough of the right things to create it.
It’s important that you learn how to be irresistible to men in today’s competitive dating world.
Being in the top 5% of women will change your love life and make men effortless to deal with.
Unless you understand how to be irresistible to men, you’ll likely deal with men losing interest, falling out of love or avoiding commitment.
Many women already believe they know what men find irresistible and what makes a woman desirable.
For example, most women believe men want a young, beautiful girlfriend.
But if this is true, why do we find so many decent guys end up with “average” looking women? Why do men find these women irresistible and not others?
I’ve discovered that most women don’t truly understand male psychology or emotions and what men find irresistible… even when they think they do.
This can lead to frustration and not getting love or interest from men because a woman is attached to an idea of what you think he wants.
Who could blame women? Men aren’t exactly “open books” about their inner world.
After years talking to guys about women, love and what men find irresistible, I discovered an odd quality that most men instantly respond to…
Men universally find child-like energy irresistibly attractive.
Most women get “burnt out” from their bad past experiences with men.
It’s tough for women in today’s dating climate, and this can cause stress, heartbreak and fear towards men.
Problem is, no matter how much you and I know this, men tend to lack feelings of interest for a woman who is afraid, stressed, or cynical.
What makes a woman attractive is childlike, playful, innocent energy. This is of the reasons why men will choose one woman over another.
A girl playing on the playground hasn’t been used, betrayed or burdened by stress yet.
She simply plays in the sand, swings on the swings and counts the grains of sand she can hold in her hand. She is alive and living in the now. That’s what men find to be irresistible in women.
I’m always amazed when I see 18-year-old girls who seem like they’re 48, and then when I see 48-year-old women who feel 18.
It’s a matter of learning what “energy” men respond to in a woman and how to make a man feel emotional attraction.
What I’ve found after observing thousands of women interact with men is that when men do stupid things like not call/text back or not give attention, many women react emotionally.
Men often do hurtful and brainless things.
Reprimanding them out of spite and hurt can cause men to pull away suddenly, act distant and cold.
Then many women find themselves in frustrating situations where they are:
Most men are dense don’t realize when they have hurt you, so these things often cause men to feel like they can’t make that woman happy.
But most men will simply see an emotional woman who they don’t know how to handle, and that scares them.
Men universally crave light-heartedness, humor and relaxation in women … ESPECIALLY when things get rough.
That’s what makes a woman desirable. Unfortunately, this is rare for men to find. Unfortunately, this is rare for men to find.
The combination of humor and light-heartedness is like a billboard mounted to a woman’s forehead that says, “I’m the one”. The combination is what makes a woman desirable to men. If you lead with a sense of humor when things don’t go well, it can instantly turn a situation around and spark emotional, irresistible attraction in men.
If you’re in a situation with a man like this, you need to learn how to reverse this and become irresistible to him before things get worse.
If you’re in a situation with a man like this, you need to learn how to reverse this and become irresistible to him before things gets worse.
When men do stupid things like getting distant, not call/text back or other hurtful things, most women let their emotions build up and lash out.
You and I know many women don’t mean to do this. But something as simple as this makes men start to lose trust, respect and attraction and distance themselves emotionally.
It took me a long time to understand that that emotions scare men and cause them to close up out of fear.
Expressing positive emotions in the right way has the power to get a man literally addicted to you.
has the power to get a man literally addicted to you. Emotional strength and independence are what men find irresistible.
Ultimately, what makes a woman desirable is emotional independence. All men secretly hope to meet a woman who adds emotional value to his life.
It just takes a meaningful readjustment of the way you approach men and relationships to be irresistible to men.
Let’s face it, many of today’s women have an A.D.D. situation going on…
But seriously, that can be cute to some guys at first. I find it hilarious and love to make light-hearted fun of women like this. But impatience can turn into unnecessary frustration and emotional aggression when things don’t happen fast enough.
What I’m talking about is relaxing more and being more open to going with the flow with him. This is the same attitude that rockstars have, and rockstars male or female are some of the most irresistible people on the planet.
What makes patience an important quality for a woman to be desirable? Because it’s RARE and sub-communicates confidence and desirability.
Here’s a clue to being irresistible to men that most women will never know.
Men are purpose and goal-oriented. Men value the vision they want to create in life above all else. It could be that he wants to start a family, travel the world, build a business… it could be anything.
The point is when a man meets a woman, he secretly hopes that she will relax with his path. If she does he will literally feel that she completes him.
Body language accounts for 55% of all communication between people, while vocal tonality accounts for 38%.
If this is true, it means… words are only 7% of all communication.
It’s possible that 93% of the signals we give socially are based on body language and vocal tonality alone.
Many women ask me “what do I say to him to make him want me?”
Instead of focusing on just 7% of communication, I’d like to suggest that you can get more leverage with men by focusing on the other 93%.
Body language is a fascinating subject to me, and I’d like to give you what I consider to be a “magic formula” for body language that subconsciously tells men you’re irresistible and you know it. Learn about body language and how to be irresistible to men:
a. The first part of the puzzle is to lead your body with your hips.
You may have mixed feelings about her (I’m not her biggest fan), but Paris Hilton is a master of this and has irresistible body language.
Walking this way conveys sexuality, confidence and feminine swagger. Simply walking like this can instantly get a respectable guy’s attention.
b. Next, consider arching your lower back to allow tension off your upper-back and shoulders.
Your shoulders can be sub-communicate many things to men. When you use them correctly, you can emulate what men find irresistible.
Hunching sub-communicates low self-confidence, which is not what many high-quality men look for.
Shoulders should be rolled back a bit as to not hide your chest (no matter the size) and to avoid hunching.
c. Raise your chin.
A chin up in the air conveys self-confidence instantly.
This will also help focus your body to stand straight up, as if you’re laying vertically on a bed.
d. Most importantly, smile!
What makes a woman desirable is a winning smile. A woman who smiles tells men on a gut level that you’re open, confident and feminine while no smile makes him wonder if you’ll be difficult to please.
This body language is irresistible to men on a subconscious level… beyond their conscious control.
When you have powerful body language, it’s as close to “magic” as it gets to seeing men respond instantly with irresistible attraction.
Are most high-quality guys really looking for “supermodel” good looks?
I’ve learned that most guys are not looking for a supermodel.
Physical attraction is created simply by a man seeing that you care about your presentation.
If a man is “talking” to you, it means he’s physically attracted enough to you to be in a relationship with you.
Beauty, healthy hair, good-looking skin, well-done makeup, healthy weight; these are the superficial things men adore.
Where many women get tripped up is believing that external beauty is everything… it is not.
Have you ever stopped to think… what is beauty?
It’s a question I like thinking about.
I believe beauty is the outward expression of femininity. men are attracted to like NOTHING else.
But it’s against femininity to be obsessed with looks, or you become an insecure rollercoaster seeking approval from men. When you chase after validation, you can’t be irresistible.
Here’s what I believe makes a woman desirable:
The fact is inner is just as important as outer.
There is a way to spark internally beautiful to men in a way that makes men respond like crazy.
You are a goal driven, intelligent woman.
I know because you’re seeking answers to this essential area of life called “love”.
However, many smart women get tripped up thinking too much… usually about the past or worrying about the future.
The problem is, getting stuck in your head kills attraction with men.
A woman who is “here now” is sharp, responsive, alive, witty and keeps a man on his toes.
Men can look into her eyes and see that she is with him here and now and not over-thinking and allow him to fall in love.
A woman who is in the “now” is completely attractive and irresistible to men.
Most men never find this woman, so when she does come, well let’s just say, have you ever heard of those stories about guys proposing after dating for three months?
There is a way to cultivate this aspect of yourself, and I believe you have this ability inside you… you just have to learn how.
Many smart women fall into this tricky trap….
Confusing neediness for love.
I’ve come to discover that neediness can disguise itself as “love”.
Let me explain…
I think we can agree that true love is when we think about the other person’s happiness before our own.
Neediness is a fixation on how our own needs are not being met.
Love is courageous and feels blissful… while neediness is fear-based and feels painful.
Many guys sense neediness the more time they spend with a girl, which can cause them to slowly pull away.
When a woman starts to get emotionally attached to a guy and hopes that he gives her more love and attention, men often pull away because this is not what men want in a girlfriend. It is far from what makes a woman desirable in their eyes.
What most men find irresistible and want is a woman who LOVES them rather than needs them.
Need is not being able to live without a man, while love is wanting him to be an addition to your life.
A woman who has the confidence to love and desire gets the love from the man she wants. Women who are overly-attached, on the other hand, will find it difficult to acquire the love they want.
It is possible to develop high levels confidence with men – this is what men find irresistible.
If you deal with neediness everyday and want to become confident and free of fear, anxiety, neediness, self-doubt or jealousy, then check out my emotional balancing tips.
Most men enjoy independence, but I’ve found that men secretly want to feel taken care of as well.
To many women this comes naturally. The problem is when men do hurtful things, many women pull back this quality out of fear, insecurity or anger.
The Indian mystic Osho once said “a man’s life is a journey to find the happiness he once felt inside the womb of his mother.” Profound stuff.
Could you imagine what would happen if you were able to make him feel the happiness he once felt in his mother’s womb?
Is it even possible?
There are ways to make him feel this way that I don’t have time to get into now (you can learn more in my products and programs).
It’s a basic female, motherly instinct to nurture.
Most guys do want a tiny bit of mommy in the woman they’re spending their time with.
But because of society, “responsibilities” and the resentment many women subconsciously feel towards men, many women end up losing touch with this part of themselves. Instead, they reprimand their man for not being able to wear the pants in the relationship.
If you’re not nurturing to a man, there’s a good chance that he will feel a level of distrust in your ability to fulfill him emotionally.
Sex is a powerful, emotionally bonding event.
And mastering the bedroom can trigger a man’s heart to open up to you and massively change how a man feels about you.
Many magazines come out with “tricks” for the bedroom.
But there’s something simpler and more effective you can do to be irresistible to men in the bedroom.
It comes down to this…
You must know how to create a relaxed environment in the bedroom. Most women create tensed environment in the bedroom by worrying about how they look or if they’re “pleasing” him.
That all you need to start making men feel irresistibly in love and attracted to you in the bedroom.
This simple shift can cause a man to feel that you are different from other girls. It’s easier than you might think to master the bedroom with men, you just have to know how and then act.
There are women who live in fear, and women who live in love.
In my experience, most women live in fear.
The list goes on.
Fear can kill a man’s attraction because men are universally drawn to women who live in love, positivity, joy, creativity.
Unfortunately, most women live in constant worry, self-judgment, guilt or anxiety due to not knowing how to get what they want from men.
On the other hand, what makes a woman desirable is choosing to love over fear. When you base your actions with men off of love-based thoughts, you act in ways that attract love from men.
A woman who sees dance, celebration and music wherever she goes is one of the most desirable qualities a woman can have.
Love is, in fact, the most powerful energy in the universe.
I’d like to ask you an obvious yet powerful question…
Why do so many women fail to make men irresistibly attracted to them?
Some women would say a lack of confidence or not being pretty enough.
Well, the truth I’ve found after coaching women around the world for over 10 years is most women aren’t irresistible to guys because they lack integrity.
Unfortunately, many women simply do whatever they think will get them the results they want… even if that means dishonest behavior or games.
Ironically, this is exactly what robs women of their power with men.
Some women feel “entitled” to act this way because of how they have been badly and unfairly treated by men in the past.
What makes a woman desirable is having admirable love-centered values.
When a man knows a woman can be swayed to dishonesty to get what she wants, he will lose trust and may leave because he knows one day, it may be him at the business end of her sword.
A woman who stands up for love and won’t play games is a beacon of light to men.
This can and often does inspire men out of their own B.S.
If you want to make a man feel ecstatic love and want to stay with only you, you must know what to avoid that makes men fall out of love, lose attraction, or want to leave.
I’ve created a FREE “Male Psychology” eLetter Series to get you started, where I share secrets about the male mind and how to create a successful relationship with a man.
In this series, I’m going to show you:
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Let’s start off with a quote:
“Out of freedom you have come to me, so out of freedom you should be able to go. And, if you want to remain with me, out of freedom you should remain with me.”
We all know most relationships start out with a bang…and later end up getting filled with past emotional baggage, guilt and general distrust, especially when a man becomes emotionally unavailable and you feel you have no say with him.
It’s irritating, frustrating and very painful… especially when he’s being a jerk.
When we feel insecure in a relationship we feel this overwhelming need to control the situation, and that’s a perfectly natural instinct.
I’d like you to do something.
Read the quote at the top again…
Here’s an important thing to look at.