Here’s an honest question, is Taylor Swift’s approach to love holding her back?
What, if anything, can Taylor Swift teach us about relationships?
If you’ve ever found yourself belting out Taylor Swift’s lyrics with a tear in your eye and a glass of wine in your hand, you’re not alone.
Taylor’s songs hit hard because they’re raw and relatable.
But let’s take a step back—what if the very things that make her music so relatable are also clues to the Taylor Swift relationship mistakes to avoid in your love life?
Does Taylor Swift’s dating strategy work?
Can Taylor Swift’s relationship woes help your love life?
Why Women Relate to Taylor Swift’s Love Life
As a guy who has been coaching women in their dating lives for the last 15 years, I’ve found that Taylor Swift’s songs reflect modern dating struggles: the butterflies of new romance, the agony of heartbreak, and the emotional tug-of-war in between.
But while we love her music, her patterns in love raise some red flags you can all learn from, because Taylor Swift’s songs reveal specific things about her love life that could be destroying it.
So here’s some Taylor Swift-inspired relationship advice of the most common mistakes women are making, just like Taylor, and how to avoid Taylor Swift’s relationship patterns.
1. Being Too Public About Your Relationships
Taylor Swift has famously aired out her love life dirty laundry in interviews and lyrics, which makes for iconic songs but doesn’t always bode well for love.
Relationships thrive on trust and privacy, not public spectacle.
What Most Women Do Wrong:
Oversharing about your love life on social media or with friends.
Sharing every fight, every sweet moment, and every subtle dig can undermine a man’s feelings of security in a relationship.
It smells of “I don’t know how to communicate with him”.
I once dated a girl who did the same thing and her friends actually called to complain to me!
Now, as protective as her friends may have been, it didn’t go over well in our relationship.
It gave me a distinct feeling that:
- She didn’t know how to tell me herself what her issues were with me
- I couldn’t trust that what happened between me and her would stay private
So, how do you think Taylor’s ex’s like John, Harry, Joe and Jake all felt about having songs with millions if not billions of hits about their relationship?
Do you think it brought them back together or further caused a divide?
What to Do Instead:
Keep your relationship sacred.
Sharing less doesn’t mean hiding; it means protecting the bond between you and your partner.
It also signals maturity and respect for the relationship.
2. A “Career First” Mindset
Taylor Swift’s ambition and focus on her music are undeniably admirable, but it’s no secret that her work takes precedence over her personal life.
Women in today’s world are praised for being a tough, boss babe, career woman who puts her love life second… leaving little space for a man to feel actually valued.
This is one of the reason’s why Taylor is so admired, but look at Taylor Swift’s love life and what women can learn from it.
What Most Women Do Wrong:
They become so focused on their personal goals that they unintentionally sideline their man’s needs and emotions.
Men want to feel like they’re a priority, not an afterthought.
What to Do Instead:
It’s about balance. You don’t need to sacrifice your ambition to nurture a relationship, but show your partner you value their presence in your life.
Small gestures—like carving out uninterrupted time for him—can go a long way.
3. Holding onto Hurt and Resentment
Taylor’s music thrives on heartbreak, but constantly reliving past pain can keep you stuck in a cycle of mistrusting good men and fear.
Whether it’s an ex who cheated on you or a fight that left you wounded, holding onto that pain makes it hard for new love to flourish, or a current relationship with a guy to recover.
So let’s analyze Taylor Swift’s relationships for dating tips hidden within.
What Most Women Do Wrong:
They carry baggage from past relationships into new ones and they don’t give a guy a clean slate.
This can manifest as distrust, insecurity, or hypersensitivity to their partner’s actions.
What to Do Instead:
Forgive, but not for him—for you and for your relationship.
Let go of what doesn’t serve you anymore. In my best selling eBook, I dive into techniques that help women rebuild trust and emotional balance, so they can open themselves to healthy, fulfilling love with the man of their dreams.
4. Ignoring the Importance of Emotional Attraction
Taylor’s lyrics often focus on surface-level aspects of romance—like grand gestures and fleeting passion.
But real relationships with men are built on deeper emotional understandings of men and their psychology, not just chemistry or compatibility.
What Most Women Do Wrong:
They assume love is all about “sparks” or how well you get along.
While those things are great, men fall in love through emotional attraction—how you make them feel.
What to Do Instead:
Learn how to communicate in a way that resonates with men.
Women often get tripped up when they communicate with a guy the way they would with other women.
But men come from a completely different perspective.
Emotional attraction is what keeps a man coming back for more. In my free newsletter, I share the secrets to sparking deep connection that most women overlook.
5. Letting Pride Get in the Way
Pride has its place, but too much of it can sabotage love. Taylor’s unwillingness to back down in some of her relationships seems to reflect this pattern.
And unfortunately, this idea of women “not backing down” is very much praised in our society today.
This has to do with women’s fear of being seen a “doormat”.
But the truth is, this level of pride will destroy a good connection with a good man and you won’t even realize it happening.
But look, love requires vulnerability, humility, and compromise—none of which pride allows.
What Most Women Do Wrong:
Refusing to apologize, holding grudges, or always needing to be “right” in arguments. These habits push men away because they make the relationship feel like a battlefield instead of a safe haven.
What to Do Instead:
Ditch pride and embrace softness. Men respond to kindness and humility far more than power plays. Vulnerability, far from being a weakness, is your greatest strength.
This is something that Taylor only appears to do on the surface of her lyrics.
But deeper, you can see in her personal life and career that she has challenges with true vulnerability and often retaliates against the guys she thinks hurt her.
6. Chasing the “Perfect” Relationship
Taylor often romanticizes relationships, painting them as all-or-nothing fairy tales.
But in real life, no relationship (or guy) is perfect, and chasing perfection only leads to disappointment.
In fact, most guys have a ton of flaws, and that’s just part of being human.
What Most Women Do Wrong:
They idealize romance because of Disney fairytales and other “Grey” novels and get discouraged when it doesn’t happen.
Men feel the pressure of being “Mr. Perfect Millionaire Prince Charming Who Can Read His Girl’s Mind” and may start to pull away.
What to Do Instead:
Embrace his imperfections. Love isn’t about finding a perfect man; it’s about choosing a guy and building a life together, flaws and all.
Final Thoughts: What Taylor Swift Relationship Mistakes Can Teach You
Taylor’s love life, while “busy”, offers invaluable lessons for you. If you’ve been making these same mistakes, know that it’s never too late to change your approach to men.
If you know how to create emotional attraction in men, effectively communicate with guys in a way they “get”, and let go of relationship patterns that are holding you back from success, you can learn from Taylor’s mistakes and create a kind of love story that ends in a dance anthem.
I dive even deeper into these principles in my free newsletter and bestselling ebook, Become His Goddess. Thousands of women have transformed their love lives by learning what really works to attract men, build lasting connections, and avoid these common pitfalls. Sign up below and take the first step toward rewriting your love story today!
