Alright, so you’re wondering what to ask your guy to really get to know him, right?
Here’s the thing: asking questions is fine, but what’s even better is knowing how to get him to open up in a way that deepens the emotional connection.
If you want to create real chemistry, it’s not about rattling off a list of “get to know you” questions—it’s about connecting in a way that’s genuine and engaging, showing him that you see him and that you’re curious about the real him.
Here’s my advice from the perspective of a guy who’s dated around: focus on creating emotional attraction, sparking that chemistry, and knowing how to make him feel understood.
Here are some questions that go deeper than the surface, designed to bring out his unique personality and make the conversation something he’s genuinely excited to be part of.
1. What’s One Thing You Love Talking About but Don’t Get to Share Often?
Most guys have interests they don’t always feel comfortable talking about, whether it’s a passion or something personal. Giving him the chance to open up about something he doesn’t usually share can make him feel valued and heard.
Why It Works:
By inviting him to share what he loves, you’re showing him that you care about his passions and interests. You’re also hinting that you’re the kind of person who values what’s beneath the surface, not just the “highlight reel.”
2. When Was a Time You Were Really Proud of Yourself?
This question lets him share a moment that matters to him. It could be an achievement, a challenge he overcame, or a goal he worked hard to reach. You’re giving him space to share his story, and it helps you see what he values most in himself.
Why It Works:
It taps into his sense of accomplishment, which most men appreciate. Plus, he’ll feel respected and understood when you show interest in the times he’s been proud of who he is.
3. What’s Something That Inspires You, or Gets You Excited About the Future?
Want to get him thinking and talking in a way that’ll actually spark attraction? Get him talking about what excites him. Whether it’s a passion, a goal, or a vision for the future, this question dives right into what drives him.
Why It Works:
When someone talks about their dreams and hopes, it stirs positive emotions and excitement. He’ll see you as someone who’s invested in his happiness and who appreciates his ambitions.
4. If You Could Design the Perfect Weekend, What Would It Look Like?
This question might seem simple, but it tells you a lot about who he is and what he enjoys. Does he crave adventure, or is he more laid-back and relaxed? Learning about how he recharges can help you understand what he values in his downtime.
Why It Works:
It shows that you care about how he likes to spend his time and are willing to be a part of his ideal life, not just something on the surface. Plus, it’s easy to bring up in a fun, lighthearted way.
5. What’s Something You’ve Always Wanted to Learn or Get Better At?
This one’s about growth, and most high-value men are attracted to someone who supports their desire to improve. Maybe he wants to learn an instrument, get better at his job, or start a side project. This question makes him think about the future in a way that brings you into it.
Why It Works:
It’s a way to show him you’re the type of person who’s interested in his personal growth—and that you’re not just here for a shallow connection. It’s about creating a shared vision for the future.
6. What Qualities Do You Value Most in a Partner?
If you’re serious about getting to know him, this question will reveal the kind of relationship he’s looking for. It’s not just about finding out what he likes; it’s also a way to subtly check if you’re on the same page.
Why It Works:
When he tells you what he values in a partner, he’s likely revealing what he values in himself. This helps you understand if you two are compatible, and he’ll appreciate that you’re interested in building a meaningful connection.
7. What’s a Memory That Always Makes You Smile?
We all have those little moments that stay with us, and asking about one of his favorites gives him a chance to share something special. It could be anything, from a childhood memory to a funny story.
Why It Works:
Talking about happy memories brings out positive emotions, and he’ll associate that good feeling with being around you. It’s a light-hearted way to create a deeper bond.
8. How Do You Recharge After a Long Day?
Getting to know how he takes care of himself, especially after stress, can give you insight into his personality. Does he need alone time, a good meal, or a workout? It shows you’re interested in his well-being.
Why It Works:
Understanding his personal needs shows you’re invested in his happiness and know how to support him when things get tough. It’s a subtle but effective way to build intimacy.
9. What Are You Most Grateful For Right Now?
This question gives him a chance to reflect on what’s important to him in the present. You’re not just asking about his past or future; you’re grounding the conversation in the now, which is powerful.
Why It Works:
Expressing gratitude makes people feel good, and if you’re the person who brings those feelings out, it only strengthens your connection.
10. If You Could Go Back and Give Your Younger Self One Piece of Advice, What Would It Be?
This is a question that lets him reflect on his journey, share wisdom, and open up about his growth. It gives you a sense of how he’s evolved and the lessons he values most.
Why It Works:
It shows you’re interested in understanding his growth over time, making him feel respected and seen. Plus, it often leads to deeper conversations that build real emotional connection.
Final Thoughts: Making Questions About Connection, Not Interrogation
Remember, it’s not about ticking off boxes or going through a list like an interview.
These questions are designed to spark conversations, bring out the real side of him, and create a vibe where he’s genuinely comfortable opening up.
They also reveal YOU in a positive light… and positivity is one of the most important traits that guys look for in a woman.
Men connect through shared experiences, curiosity, and knowing they’re appreciated, so use these questions to show him that you see him as more than just “the boyfriend.”
And if you’re ready to dive even deeper into understanding men and creating emotional attraction, don’t miss my free “Dating Tips Secrets for Women” newsletter—link is at the bottom of this page. It’s full of insights to help you take your relationship game to the next level.
For the ultimate guide on building a connection he can’t resist, check out my eBook, Become His Goddess. Packed with everything I’ve learned over years of coaching, it’s the playbook to create a relationship that’s fun, meaningful, and full of chemistry.
