There’s a big difference between love and neediness, and most women don’t even realize they confuse the two.

Love is unconditional and positive. It flows freely, and it’s focused outwardly—on giving, building, and connecting.

Neediness? That’s fear-based and negative. It’s an inward scramble to patch up insecurities and plug emotional holes with someone else’s affection.

Here’s the hard truth: most relationships fail because one or both people are trying to comfort their feelings of neediness instead of giving open, genuine love.

When you operate from fear, it shows—and men notice it faster than you’d think.

But when you move from a place of love, you become magnetic.

I’ve coached thousands of women from around the world—Australia, America, Hong Kong, you name it—and I’ve seen this dynamic play out again and again.

Most single women are fear based and needy. That’s just a fact.

So, if you’re feeling stuck in your love life, this is your opportunity to understand what’s really happening and make a powerful change that will vastly improve the quality of affection, attention and commitment you get from men.

Love Is About Giving; Neediness Is About Taking

Love is expansive—it asks, How can I show up for this person in a way that enriches both our lives?

It’s all about giving energy.

It’s about giving all of your love, affection, intimacy because the act of giving to someone you love is enough for you.

Neediness is restrictive—it pleads, How can I get this person to fill the empty spaces inside me?

Neediness is about getting energy. It’s about “figuring him out”, over-analyzing him to try to create some outcome you have in your mind, and getting frustrated, annoyed and sad when he doesn’t give you want you want.

See the difference?

It’s a huge paradigm difference, and it’s at the core of why some women are successful with men and most aren’t.

When you’re loving and know how to open your heart center, you are a magnetic source of love and energy for men

When you’re insecure, needy, living from fear you’re more likely to play games, act aloof and lash out when you perceive he’s not giving you the attention and validation that you want.

What Most Women Do Wrong:
They act out of fear, often without realizing it.

Constant checking in, over-texting, or getting upset when he needs space.

Those actions scream fear, insecurity and being self-focused.

Instead of giving love freely, they’re looking for constant reassurance to quiet their inner doubts.

Signs You’re Operating From Love

1. You feel confident and secure, whether or not he’s texting you every hour because you’re centered in your unconditional love for him.
2. You’re genuinely interested in his happiness and success regardless of if you’re the source of it—not just how it reflects on you.
3. You trust the connection and let it unfold naturally without trying to control the outcome.

Why It Works:
Men feel safe and drawn to women who love without strings attached.

It creates an environment where he wants to give back because he feels appreciated and free.

One of the great ironies of relating to men is that men often want to commit to women who never ask a commitment of them.

Signs You’re Operating From Neediness

1. You panic if he doesn’t text back within 15 minutes.
2. You constantly wonder if you’re “enough” and feel like you have to prove your worth.
3. You’re hyper-focused on the relationship and neglecting your own passions and interests.
4. You have a voice in your head that tells you “you should give him a taste of his own medicine so he knows how you feel”.

Why It’s a Turn-Off:
Men don’t want to feel like a lifeline—they want a partner.

And it’s not just the neediness itself that men don’t like… it’s all of the frustration, games and negative energy in a relationship that it can lead it.

Let me be clear: Men LOVE being wanted.

It’s a good thing to show you’re desire, admiration and affection for a man!

But if you’re going into a negative energy and obsessing and wanting to control the outcome, that can send men out the door.

Neediness puts pressure on him to constantly reassure you, which is draining and makes him pull away.

How to Shift From Neediness to Love

1. Check Your Energy: Are You Giving or Taking?

Many women are secretly thinking “how can I get him to love me more?” But this is the wrong frame right out of the gate.

Every time you’re about to text him or ask a question like, “Do you even care about me?” pause. Ask yourself: Am I trying to give love, or am I trying to get reassurance?

Why It Works:
Men respond to a confident, giving energy.

It’s refreshing, builds trust and is rare as hell.

Most men don’t encounter women like this, but when they do, they want to lock them down.

2. Balance Your Chakras

When you’re feeling anxious or insecure in a relationship, it’s a sign your sacral, solar plexus and heart chakras are closed and imbalanced.

These energy centers govern your emotions and sense of self-worth.

How to Fix It:
In my Emotional Balancing System, I guide women through specifically designed meditations to open and realign these chakras. This shift alone can transform how you feel and show up in relationships.

The bottom-line for now is, you must open these chakras and open up to unconditional love.

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3. Stop Trying to Control the Outcome

Love isn’t about trying to secure a specific result—it’s about creating a connection so strong that he wants to commit.

See the difference?

When you detach from the need for control, you give him space to choose you.

What Most Women Do Wrong:
They try to rush the process, pushing for labels and guarantees too soon.

And when men aren’t ready for it or back off, the woman gets frustrated and feels insecure and may either lash out at him or “give him a taste of his own medicine”.

Then when she’s single again, she’s put up an electrified fence around her heart that literally *zaps* men when they come near sending them packing.

4. Focus on Self-Worth, Not Validation

Many women believe they need a man to feel worthy of love.

And then they hate that they feel this way and so outwardly act “independent”, strong and masculine.

They end up pushing men away because of this without even realizing it.

That belief is where neediness starts. Instead, work on building a life that excites your feminine side, with or without a partner…. whether that be painting, sitting in a park looking at daisy, or having a tea party with your cat.

Femininity has been bashed in our society because femininity is the definition of unproductivity.

It’s doing things that don’t directly add to society…. and that’s perfectly okay.

That’s what femininity is, because if we were turned on and being productive 24/7, we would have no reason to be living.

The old stereotype is that men go to work and women make the home.

Think about it, if both are at work all the time, what kind of home are you coming home to?

Why It Works:
When you’re secure in your femininity, your nature, you stop clinging—and men find that irresistible.

5. Understand the Fear Behind Neediness

Neediness is rooted in fear: fear of being alone, fear of not being good enough, fear of abandonment.

But love is rooted in the heart, in abundance—it assumes you’re already whole and worthy.

Neediness is a fear-based approach to relationship because you’re constantly wanting validation that you’re enough.

And if you don’t get that validation, it will indicate to your ego that you’re not worthy.

This is why many women will have random fantasies of breaking up with their boyfriend for seemingly no reason.

It’s because their ego is deeply afraid and their not coming to the relationship from the unconditionally loving heart chakra.

How to Shift:
Replace fear with trust.

Open the heart chakra.

Let go of the outcome and live for today.

Trust yourself, trust him, and trust the process.

This is not an easy process to instantly shift from fear to love.

That’s why I created my Emotional Balancing System, which you should check out if you feel overwhelmed by this.

6. Give Love Freely

Here’s a radical thought: give love for the sake of giving it.

When you love openly and unconditionally, without expecting something in return, it automatically creates a powerful, lasting connection.

There’s almost nothing else I need to teach other than this point!

Why Most Women Struggle With This:
They confuse love with “keeping score.”

If he doesn’t text back or initiate, they see it as a sign he doesn’t care, and they pull back to protect themselves.

But love isn’t about tit-for-tat—it’s about creating a space where both people feel safe to show up.

Love isn’t a business transaction where, if you give then you will have less aftwards.

In love, the more you give, you more you will get back 10 fold.

Final Thoughts

Here’s the bottom line: love attracts men, neediness repels them.

If you’ve been caught in patterns of insecurity or fear, don’t worry—it’s not too late to change. You can learn how to create emotional attraction, communicate in a way that men understand, and build a relationship based on trust and connection.

In my Emotional Balancing System, I teach women how to let go of fear and embrace unconditional love. And if you’re ready to take things further, my ebook Become His Goddess dives deep into the secrets of creating lasting love and chemistry. Join my free newsletter at the bottom of this page for more tips—and start transforming your love life today.