Here’s one of the biggest lies you’ve been sold: that men want strong, independent women who don’t need them.

Society loves to push this narrative, but when it comes to romantic attraction, the truth is far more nuanced.

Men don’t fall in love with your ability to lead or your independent streak—they fall for your femininity, your softness, and the way you make them feel like they can protect, cherish, and adore you.

That might sound completely, wildly counter to what you’ve been told.

But stick with me—this isn’t about telling you to dim your light.

It’s about showing you the power with men you already have, simply by leaning into your “yin” feminine energy.

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What Is Polarity, and Why Does It Matter?

Most women belief attraction is fueled by “feminine” things like hair, nails, beauty and a good, feminine style.

But this only captures a thimble full of what femininity actually is.

Attraction is fueled by polarity—the natural pull between masculine and feminine energies, yin and yang.

Masculine energy thrives on structure, direction, plowing forward and leadership.

Feminine energy is about flow, love, creativity, color, receptivity, and intuition.

When these energies complement each other, sparks absolutely fly.

The problem?

Many women have been conditioned over the years to over-identify with masculine traits, believing that strength, independence, and control are what make them desirable.

While those qualities might earn you respect at work, they will create repulsion in romantic relationships with men because they directly compete with the man’s masculine energy.

The kicker?

Even though a lot of guys SAY they want a “strong woman”, they don’t actually emotionally respond to such a woman.

Why Men Are Drawn to Feminine Energy

When you’re in your yin feminine energy, you create space for his masculine energy to thrive.

It’s not about being “less than”—it’s about tapping into a natural dynamic that makes men feel alive, needed, and deeply connected to you.

Here’s why.

1. Men Are Hard-Wired to Protect & Provide

When you let go of the need to control everything and allow yourself to be vulnerable, it immediately triggers something primal in a man.

He wants to step up for you, to protect you, and to make you feel safe. It’s biology, not chauvinism.

Many women take the wrong step by pressuring him to step up rather than inviting him to step up.

“A REAL man does this…. A REAL man does that….”

Look I get it, it may seem like men don’t really want to bring this side of themselves in 2024.

But this only makes me feel pressured and puts them into a confrontational perspective.

The thing is, men are HARD-WIRED biologically to be a leader and be protective and provide for women.

When you know how to relax in your natural feminine energy and allow him to just be him, you will be surprised how he steps up.

What Most Women Do Wrong:
They downplay their need for a man, believing that showing any vulnerability makes them weak.

In reality, that creates distance.

Men are drawn to women who let them be men, in all of their slovenly, unfiltered mayhem.

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2. Feminine Energy Is Magnetic

When you’re playful, silly, and even childlike, you bring out the lighter, more carefree side of him… and that’s exactly why men get into relationship to begin with.

Men want that type of experience with a woman.

You remind him of what it feels like to live rather than just work and achieve.

Again, yin and yang.

What Most Women Do Wrong:
They take themselves too seriously, constantly trying to prove their worth.

They think they have to be strong, independent and not need no man!

This energy just is not attractive to men. It repels them.

But when you let go and embrace your fun, innocent side, you become irresistible to men.

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3. Submission Isn’t Weakness—It’s Strength

The word “submission” has gotten a bad rap, but it’s not about being a doormat.

True submission is about trusting his lead, knowing that you’re safe enough to surrender because he’s earned that trust.

Any man that you are choosing to be with deserve this side of you!

Otherwise you’re entering the relationship in bad faith with your guards up and laying your bad past experiences on him to prove that all men aren’t bad.

The burden of proof isn’t on him!

What Most Women Do Wrong:
They fight for control in the relationship, which creates a power struggle and kills attraction.

This whole energy of being strong and independent is nothing by ego and rejection of femininity itself.

Men don’t want a rival—they want a partner who believes in them.

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But What About Independence?

Here’s the thing: men don’t dislike strong, independent women. They admire them.

But that type of admiration (that they’d share equally with a man) isn’t the same as attraction.

When you lead with independence, you send the signal that you don’t need him.

And if he feels unnecessary, the connection fades and balance of yin and yang is thrown off.

This doesn’t mean you have to give up your independence or ambitions.

It just means that in your relationship, you can afford to soften, to let him lead, and to show that you truly value what he brings to the table.

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Why You’ve Been Programmed to Think Differently

Modern culture celebrates women who “don’t need a man.”

“Who runs the world? Girl” as Beyoncé said.

While there’s value in being self-sufficient, this mindset has warped your understanding of relationships.

Many women have been taught that being playful, innocent, or surrendering makes them a “doormat”.

It’s one of the biggest questions I have with women in my coaching sessions “But won’t that make me a doormat?” or “How do I do that without looking like a doormat?”

But the truth is, those qualities make you powerful in the eyes of men.

Femininity is a completely alien world to men, and when he sees it, it fills a part of him that he didn’t know needed to be filled.

Here’s the secret: When you embrace your feminine energy, you’re not just creating attraction—you’re creating a space where he feels needed, appreciated, and inspired to give you his love, attention and affection.

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How to Tap Into Your Feminine Energy

1. Let Go of Control
   Trust his decisions every now and then! If he wants to plan the date or decide where to eat, let him. It doesn’t make you less capable—it makes him feel like a man.
2. Be Playful and Silly
   Drop the “serious adult” act sometimes. Tease him, laugh at his jokes, and let your inner child out. Men are drawn to women who make life feel fun.
3. Show Vulnerability
   Instead of hiding your feelings, express them openly and without blame. Saying, “I feel hurt when you cancel plans,” is far more effective than acting aloof or passive-aggressive.
4. Celebrate His Masculinity
   Compliment his strength, his decisiveness, or his ability to handle tough situations. This is so important. You need to reward the behaviors that you want to see more of. It’s not about stroking his ego—it’s about showing that you see and appreciate his masculine energy.

Final Thoughts

Leaning into your yin feminine energy isn’t about giving up power—it’s about stepping into a different kind of power.

The kind that makes men want to protect, cherish, and commit to you.

And if you’re still skeptical, let me say this: I’ve coached countless women who’ve transformed their love lives simply by making this shift. The results? Happier, more fulfilling relationships with men who adore them.

If you’re ready to dive deeper into this, join my free newsletter and grab a copy of my ebook Become His Goddess.

In it, I teach you the secrets to unlocking your feminine power and creating the kind of chemistry and connection that lasts a lifetime.