How to Stand Out and Move Things to the Next Level

Why do some women make it to real committed relationship while others get stuck in a “situation-ship”?

I’m not saying this to boast, but after years of coaching thousands of women across Australia, Europe, America, and Hong Kong, I’ve seen the patterns.

I’ve been in quite a few situationships myself, and while I’m not “proud” of that, it’s given me a unique opportunity to share with you what is that “special something” that made me want to commit to one women and not another.

The reality?

Certain behaviors turn guys away from taking things further, even when we’re initially interested.

On the other hand, there are certain qualities a gal can exhibit that actually cause men to WANT (keyword) to commit to that girl, sometimes for life.

The question is, what makes a man want to have a more rich, committed, emotional experience with one woman, while seeing most others as just “friends with benefits” material?

So, let’s dive into how to move from “situationship” to real relationship, from someone who’s been there from the man’s side and knows what the guy YOU are dealing with is really looking for in order to get more serious with you.

1. Understand That It’s Not About Your Looks

Look, many women get hung up on thinking that the guy doesn’t want to move things forwards because she’s not physically good looking enough for what the guy’s tastes.

This isn’t really true, because as you can see around you, anywhere, at anytime, men choose to commit to women who aren’t supermodels and who are just “average”.

The reality is that there are likely emotional reasons for him stalling out the relationship in the courtship phase.

Those reasons could either be because of him and his stuff (which we’ll get to later in the list), or it because of certain misalignments he’s having emotionally with you.

What Most Women Do Wrong:
Most women obsess over their physical looks and this makes them feel even more insecure than before.

Try This: Take some time to reflect on how your EMOTIONAL connection with him is really at the heart of the issue. That includes your communication patterns, your energy and your level of fear in regards to being able to “get” him. All of these things are actually having an affect on the relationship with him and he can feel it, whether good or bad.

2. Stay Positive, Lighthearted, and Drama-Free

Women who keep the vibe fun and positive are a breath of fresh air. They don’t sweat the small stuff or jump into drama at every chance. Trust me, a guy’s going to remember the girl who made him feel good, not the one who brought constant tension.

What Most Women Do Wrong:
It’s easy to get caught up in every little disagreement, insecurity, or “where is this going?” moment. But a guy who senses emotional instability, impatience, or a tendency to make mountains out of molehills is going to think twice about taking it further.

You need to understand that men look at the dating process as preview of how the relationship is going to be.

So if you’re stuck in a situationship with a guy, it’s likely that he’s seeing some behavior in you that causing him to feel tense about moving things forward with you.

Try This: Keep things light. If you’re constantly analyzing or trying to control the situation, it makes us feel like we’re on eggshells. Instead, enjoy the present without needing everything to be defined right away.

3. Be Cute, Innocent, and Show You Trust Him

The women who got me moving from situationship to relationship had a sweet, genuine side that was refreshing… and it never stopped.

They showed trust and didn’t constantly question my intentions or assume the worst. They believed in me and didn’t show fear or hesitation to be around me.

They made it feel safe to open up, which isn’t easy to find.

What Most Women Do Wrong:
Many women assume that showing vulnerability will make them seem “weak” or let us “take advantage.” But constantly guarding yourself, questioning men’s every move, or keeping us at a distance actually just keeps things in the casual zone!

Try This: Show your genuine, trusting side. Letting a guy in and believing the best of him is powerful—and it’s a major turn-on when it’s real.

This basically like “pixie dust” to making a man shift into being more serious about you.

Remember, the courtship phase is a preview of the future. So if you actually demonstrate these great qualities that men want to see, you may be absolutely surprised that the commitment he starts showing you

If you want to learn more about what makes you irresistible to men go here.

4. Show Commitment Without Needing to Be Center Stage

Women who made me want to commit had lives outside the relationship.

They showed me they were committed but didn’t need to be the center of my world.

They valued their own time, friendships, and goals, and they didn’t demand that I revolve around them.

But the thing is there is a right level of interest to show. It’s an art.

What Most Women Do Wrong:
Being too available or overly focused on him can be overwhelming and cause the woman to become insecure and start “lashing out” at him. And let’s be honest: there’s a fine line between showing commitment and becoming possessive or needy.

Try This: Show that you’re interested without making him your whole world. When you’re too quick to drop everything for him, it sends the message that you’re not bringing much else to the table. Independence is attractive.

5. Be Patient—Real Relationships Take Time

Look, times today are far more complex than they used to be.

In today’s world, men have incredibly high expectations put on them in an increasingly competitive, “cutthroat” world.

This ain’t 1954 no more, Betsy!

We have far more complicated lives nowadays, and most men are not even ready for commitment until they’re into their 30’s,40’s and even 50’s.

I’m not saying you have to wait until the guy’s 80, but you gotta understand how men see it.

The most successful women I’ve worked with know that good things with a guy don’t come from rushing.

They allow things to unfold at a natural pace and don’t panic if the relationship isn’t defined immediately.

What Most Women Do Wrong:
Impatience and rushing commitment can come across as desperation. If you push too hard for labels or demand constant reassurance, a guy is going to pull back. It’s a red flag that screams insecurity.

Try This: Show confidence by being okay with taking things slow. If you can enjoy the process without needing instant answers, you’re proving that you’re confident in yourself and in the connection.

6. Avoid Doing What Turn Guys Off

No matter how many influencers out there are telling you to be a “girl boss” and that men are just insecure around you, the truth is, this isn’t how men see it.

Self-centeredness, conceit, selfishness, and a lack of self-awareness are deal-breakers for a lot of guys.

To men, these are dangerous personality flaws.

Men have a specific list of qualities they want to see in a woman that include things like selflessness, respectfulness, humility, positivity and having their ego in check.

These are highly regarded virtues to most men.

Don’t be fooled by your single friends and bad relationship advice on social media: most men are ready to MARRY a girl like this.

No one’s perfect, but if we sense that you’re more interested in what we can do for you than building something together, it’s hard to see a future.

What Most Women Do Wrong:
Some women unknowingly let their flaws dominate, focusing on themselves and overlooking that dreaded question of what they bring to the relationship. This can be a huge turn-off for guys, especially if we see you’re only interested in what you can get.

Try This: Work on being aware, supportive, and genuine. Be someone who adds value rather than draining energy, and you’ll find that guys naturally want to stick around.

7. Don’t Juggle Other Options if You Want Him to Commit

The women who stood out were fully present and weren’t entertaining other options on the side.

Personally speaking, if I got wind that a girl who looked serious in me was dating or sleeping with another man, i would disqualify her immediately and just see her as FWB material.

It’s because her actions and what she actually wanted didn’t line up. Why would a woman be sleeping or seeing other men if she wanted to be solely with me? There’s a big disconnect there and a warning sign for future issues in a relationship with said person.

This doesn’t mean throwing yourself into exclusivity right away, but if a guy senses that he’s just “one of many” while you’re simultaneously genuinely only wanting to be with him, he’s not going to take things seriously because it’s sending mixed messages.

What Most Women Do Wrong:
Some women keep options open as a way to avoid vulnerability. But if a guy feels like he’s in competition or that you’re still entertaining other guys, it’s a turn-off for anything serious.

Try This: Show him that you’re interested by focusing your attention. If you’re actually interested in a relationship with only him, be true to yourself and stop dating other men. He will notice in a good way.

There’s a huge difference between “keeping options open” when you’re not exactly sure what you want and “keeping your guard up” because you actually do know what you want but are using other men to pad your vulnerability.

If you want a relationship with him, show him he’s worth your focus.

8. Have the Relationship Talk with Confidence, Not Pressure

When the time’s right, the women who got me to commit knew how to approach the “talk” without putting me in the hot seat.

They were confident in what they wanted and approached it in a relaxed, open way that let me know they were here for the real thing.

What Most Women Do Wrong:
Many women either avoid the talk out of fear or approach it with frustration, which makes it feel heavy and forced. But if I sense that you’re calm and clear in your expectations, it makes me want to step up.

Try This: When things are calm, bring it up with confidence. “I’m really enjoying us, and I’d love to know where you see this going.” Showing you’re grounded in what you want is refreshing and memorable.

Final Thoughts: Moving from Situationship to Relationship

If you want to go from situationship to relationship, it’s about embodying qualities that make a guy want to go all in—qualities like positivity, independence, and patience. Avoiding common mistakes, like emotional instability, pressure, or self-centeredness, sets you apart as someone he wants to be with long-term.

That’s why your next step is simple: join my free “Dating Tips Secrets for Women” newsletter at the bottom of this page. Inside, you’ll discover exclusive insights that could transform your love life.

And if you’re ready to go from “situationship” to relationship, spend 20 bucks and download my best-selling eBook, Become His Goddess. This guide reveals powerful secrets about attracting men on an emotional and energetic level—secrets that most “relationship experts” don’t know and aren’t teaching. These are insights that have helped thousands of women around the world find real, lasting love.